mIssIng ElsEwhErE

to change or nt to change?

2010-09-20T22:34:00.002+08:00

i'm still not very sure to change or not to change my job...
its very free and i'm having lots of freedom in this job.. but the pay is less.. the politics is there... i just dont like it...
how to now?... to change?.. or stay put??

Mr. Young

2010-08-31T22:25:00.003+08:00

went to 987 RSVP last sat... it features 21 Hot Girls at Silk.. a new club at Orchard Hotel...

we managed to get free drinks.. but everyone have to be present at the bar to 'register' for their drinks.. quite troublesome.. unlike some other times where the guys can go over to collect on behalf... or even collect a few more cups at one go.. wasnt drunk neither high.. end up spending $48 to buy a jug of tequila lime...

hmm.. Silk is quite a good place to hang out.. only few '-' point for it... its rather far! i've gotta walk quite a distance in order to reach there.. along the way.. it seems to be quite dangerous for girls/ladies... that is my personal thoughts.. unlike other clubs, Silk does not have too many people around and not as complicated as others... personally i quite like that place... but it seems to lack of something which my friends and i just cannot figure it out...

took the best photo that night with... Mr. Young!!!

haha... still very happy about it... i'm so surprise that Mr. Young remembers me! omg... its only my 2nd time to RSVP and he remembers me... its me...! *blush*

well... someone asked me 'why u like Mr. Young so much?'... hmm... i also not sure what is the reason... jus because of feeling?... haha... maybe he is funny.. not bad looking.. got the size.. different.. interesting.. haha... i only know that i loose control when i see him... super active and hyper... but i'm not those that will 'chase' after that specific person no matter what... i'm still realistic and awake...! haa... in this photo Mr. Young is really lucky! haha...

o ya... as said i wanna look for new job... and i've been searching online this afternoon... there is this agent from Adeacco called me this evening to update on my personal info... he also asked if i'm still looking for job at the moment... that is like so coincedence... well.. he said if there is suitable position he will get back to me... so let see... maybe it is really time to go?...

new life...

2010-08-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

i've finally completed my degree.. i know my results is terrible.. bt at least there is still a pass... finally...!

i think i have to find a new job... my pay sucks! i dont think i can get high pay if i still stay in this company..! sianx...

find job!!!!!!!!!!!

haunted~

2009-12-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

the past seems to be keep haunting me... to the extend that i really want to hide.. but i cant... i'm not sure what to do next... i want to be happy.. but i seems to be sad..

this kind of feeling is so hard to explain.. so hard to determine... how should i feel?? i have no idea...

am really lost...

!!! d-e-s-s-e-r-t-s

2009-10-10T01:02:00.002+08:00

it's been quite some time since i last blog... not sure what to blog here... cos there are lots of things happening these few months...

wonder have i changed or what is going on... human are so complicated.. so hard to please.. what can i expect and what can i do?... staying put or change and adapt..? when i change and adapt... will others change n adapt too?... what i want now?...

dont really feel like talking much.. don wanna face ppl... feel like just staying home... playing com.. not thinking anything... just me and myself... crying does not help.. tears just cant roll down... brain is keep working... things keep piling up... ppl keep changing and expecting.. loads increase.. what can i do now?...

its like 4yrs.. if nth wrong.. but..

i've grown and change.. to a person whom i no longer understand... not sure is it for the better or worst.. feel like getting away... dont think anything or anyone can help... i just want to be alone...

*stay away*

expectation

2009-09-14T12:13:00.003+08:00

i think that i'm expecting too much... am i?...

i'm told in the face that my admin is lazy... after few days of observation... indeed... i think she is... but there is no evidence of it... its merely my perception. am i expecting too much from her... or am i suppose to expect more on her?... i usually think that the amount you are paid will be the amount of work you do... but i currently doubt so now...

she is some one older than me by at least 20years.. and is said to be under my supervision... but than the things she do, is just normal data entry and ordering as well as arranging dispatch... things dont seems to be as easy as before... my manager expect more... and i have no choice but to expect more from her... to her maybe she will think it is ok... but to my manager... he will think that i did not do my part well...

things seems to be going out of control soon... to the extend that i think i'm doing the things and making the decision... a simple thing cannot be done and she will ask me to do it... taking fri for example... i'm constantly on the line with customers and all... so i wont be able to make another phone call to my other customers... she.. being my assistant suppose to help me if there is really a need... all my back end staff keep calling and asking about the data... and she still have the cheek to tell me that customer says will send in 5min and now is already 6min... but she did nothing...!!! expecting me to do the rest...!!! even normal delivery to my customer i have to arrange... these few days i keep asking her to contact my dispatch and all... but she did not always do that... she take it that as if she didnt hear me...

this is not happening once... or twice... but several occasion... omg... guess she is just taking for granted that i will do everything...

i've been expecting a lot from co-workers, family and friends... to the extend that i'm not sure where the fault lies... its always said expect the unexpected... but then... i'm always expecting things to go on my way... am i being spoiled... becoming a spoiled brad?...

a lot of things happen recently... i am just to wear out to go handle and say about all of them bit by bit... hope i'm not running into any depression state... but come to think... i really enjoying staying at home more often than before... home never be the same as the past... maybe is that the lifestyle of my family had changed... more bonding and more home-like than before... i never like home when i'm young... but now... its another different case... i just dread to go out after work... sometimes even weekend...

*everyone is changing...*

|ies

2009-08-28T15:51:00.002+08:00

feels like a fool~

everything is just a lie... i nv expect... tried to believe in you... but u just disappoint me... again and again...

heard a news from my cousin... am not affected at all... but den... when i think n think again... i feel like a fool... listening and believing in wad u said... thinking that u might be just like me... or wadever... nv did i expect...

lesson learn... a leopard can nv change its spots... believe in yourself rather than words or sayings...

... ... ...

2009-08-21T08:17:00.002+08:00

its the very rare time when i wake up so urber early... having a very mixed feeling now... not knowing should i feel relief or should i feel sad... she didnt wait for me to visit her in hospital and now she is gone... y she didnt wait for me?... i still intend to visit her in the late morning before gg out... but now no nd le...

happy => cos she is able to rest finally... after so many years of slogging... she is able to go to a better place in the after life...

sad => is that i cant get to see her for the last time and she is gone... sad when i had lost a kin in my life... sad is that i will not get to see her anymore... sad is when "tml nv come"... always say tml when wanting to visit her when she's at home.. sad is when i didnt make my stand clear to send her to the hospital or my hse on the day she fall dwn...

but now.. there is no point for that le... she's gone... and gone forever to a better place... but still she will be there in my heart.. despite the fact that i am not very very close with her.. or in a very very gd terms with her... but.. its always the boring things that we remember...

a relief is that my papers are finally finished... am able to go down to the wake... not affecting my studies... maybe she did wait for me.. but is to wait for me to complete my exam before she really move on... cos heard from my mum that few days back she is already in critical condition le... i think its on wed.. which really affected my studies... cant really concentrate... but yst.. my aunt says she is better le... can talk... which made my heart feel lighter... and am able to perform better for exam... after everything.. she just moved on...

i will always remember how you treat me when i'm young.. what i had done... and how u try to protect me... and also let me grow up to be more brave n independent...
thanks for your teaching... R.I.P. and lead a better after life...

? Question Mark ?

2009-08-10T03:26:00.011+08:00

i have lots of things to blog abt... bt i'm nt sure where to start... damn... what shld i start with??... well.. think base on date ba... it shld be easier... although i'm more excited to blog abt the more recent case... hahaha

hmm... i'm just too lazy to back track till the very front.. lets start with steph bday ba... i suppose that is the best day to start...

well... celeb steff bday at suki sushi (HG branch) same as mine... we went there to feast on the sashimi... its just nv enough.. hahaha... managed to trick steph the way they trick me on my bday... hahaha... we bought her a cake n an autograph book... she insisted on money but i dont wish to give her ang bao only.. so went to buy her an autograph book.. hahah... kaili n i wrote something on it...

hmm... i wanted to post steph photo de.. bt dunno y those photos just cant copy to my computer... haix...

ok well... kaili n i went in first to get everything prepared... n i keep reminding steph to give me a call when she reaching... so i went out to wait for her and bluffed her that kaili is in the washroom and we go in to wait for kaili... n steph really believe me o... hahaha... same reaction as me... "free seating arx?" hahahha...

as she walk closer.. she saw kaili n the cake... hahahaha... not forgeting her present... had some commercials in between and rush for our sashimi... really hope that she will like the gift and also the little surprise...

*i know there are places whereby the sashimi are much more better... but HG Plaza is the nearest to our place le..*

ok... next...

was dont pratically nothing in office on friday... so i went to clean my phone n keyboard... well.. actually i have things to do larx... just that i choose not to do... hahhaha... i had this keyboard by dunno who... n its rather dirty when i first use it... didnt have the time to really clean it.. till fri...

before...

after...

real great difference rite?? hahahaa... i really have the sense of achievement... i'm so happy... but at the same time... my nails hurt... hahaaha...

yup... i went to watch UP...!!! it's so nice... the whole show seems so innocent and naive... as in the little boy... its like a nv able to fulfill kind of event and mostly seems like fairytale... whereby the dogs can talk and that lots of balloon can help to fly a house and they can last for like few days!!! hahaha... but its a heart warming movie...

so paisei... watch cartoon also can make me tear... bt not to the extend that the tears dropping down larx... still bearable... =X

went to st james again... this time round dont really feel the enjoyment and fun... maybe is cos of the change of crew.. maybe is that the ppl ard are not high enough.. or maybe i do not drink enough... or worst... i dont like to club le... hahaha... well.. i also not sure which is it.. finally manage to finish up the bottle... went to powerhouse after that and found that powerhouse is super full house...!! it is not normal but super... ppl who need to pay for the entrance are q-ing... ppl who are members are q-ing... ppl who are re-entering are q-ing...!!! the whole entrance are packed!!!! end up we went to modiva and chill out at the seats outside... managed to talk to von and exchange some stories... hahaha...

after talking... it posts me a question... is it coincidence or is it fated?... or is it not the one...

went over to my godparents place this afternoon... its my godpa's 61st birthday...!!! bought him a top.. but i'm not sure will he like it... i hope he does... its been a long time since i last gather with them...

my godpa... he dont look that old right?

my godgrandma... hahahaha....

went back home for MJ with my aunt n uncle n dad... was initially very bored when playing.. bt thanks to someone who sms me when i'm playing MJ... i was so bored and brain dead to the extend that i tot of ol'school game... hahaha... its those... "if this this this happens... means that this this this will come true..."

hahaha... n i've tried several times... result shows that.. at the very last round... it really happen...!!! bt i keep on not believing it and made the very last "question"... saying that if i managed to recouperate my lost of up to $20-30 means that this this this will happen... i have to say that before that round.. my "drawer" has only $5 or lesser... n at the end of the game it had around $36...!!! which means it will happen??

another thing is that... when i'm about to msg someone... that someone msg me as well... i'm like typing halfway and the sms tone goes off... feels a little happy when sms-ing that person...

but all in all... what is the underlying meaning???...

*if u want to know more abt it... ask me... bt i'm nt sure if i will tell u... but u can still try...*

hahahahaa....

rand0mX...

2009-07-29T10:42:00.002+08:00

had so many things... but i'm so lazy... someone say always come into my blog bt there is no update... so nw... i shall update a long one... *i try*

1. was sick last week... down with flu n sore throat.. n some sort of breathing difficulty.. went to see doc... but he tot i trying to 'geng' mc...!!! when i told him i got some breathing difficulty he said it is due to block nose... bt i told him i dont have block nose... den he said.. it is due to running nose.. bt i dont have that at that point of time... so it does not really means that... den he said ur lungs and heart are perfectly alright... -_-"
i am speechless... wad a doct... and he only give me 1 day mc... if i'm not sick or so i wont be going to see doc... duh... stupid doc... end up i have to take 1 day leave for fri... cos i'm still having headache... n the bloody med is so useless... i took the med on wed night... n thurs my sore throat is worst... wth... till now.. i'm still having cough, sore throat n some runny nose... just that it is not so serious...

2. von n meli was sick last wk as well... they both were dwn with fever and flu ba... n now they are alright le ba... hope the stupid virus will stop ba.. so scary...

3. went to coca for lunch on sat... yummy... it is almost a year since we last had it... went with maree, tim, yx n thiong... so full n bloated larx... had 10% discount.. wahahaha.. finally saw william n susan and catch up a little... finds that almost everyone had changed and ppl are coming and go... most of the old staff had left... next time i think will be harder to keep in contact le ba...
went to ION after that... it was amazingly huge and atas... with 4 level of basement and 3 level on the top... but it looks like a maze... have to pass 3 doors to enter the toilet... wahaha... interesting... n it is so so packed... at the basement... at the top floor where those high end products are sold... LV, Prada.. it is... WOW... nice... but can die larx... walk there... hahaha...
end up went back to Taka for WZ present.. bought Tim's present as well... went home at ard 7+ and was waiting for bus at Hereen and this Ang Mo guy was there as well... maree was talking to her friend who had some problem at that time... so i'm there looking at bus... so this guy approach me and talk...
"there are a lot of birds" him
"ya.. its always like that" me
"are they always so noisy?" him
"yup.. this is very common here" me
"u know what birds are those?" "are those black colour kind?" him
"erm... i'm not sure" me...
after reply him and smile at him i turned to look at maree... stare at her... she immediately told her friend that she will call her back and talk to me... omg... the first comment she gave me was... "wah... waiting for bus only u can give ppl ta san arx" i'm like... its nt i want de... she n fang gave the same comments... u are just like a magnet but always attract the wrong stuff...
duh... i dont wan larx... nonono... 1 very nice comment that she gave was that "u dont try also got ppl ta san... i try so hard also dont have... =( " aiyo... i dont think this is gd... gt 1 gd bf is enough le larx... i dont wan so many others le... tired...

4. my exam is coming...!!! its on 19 and 20 Aug... how shld i take my leave?? its on wed n thurs... i'm thinking of taking 19-21... so i can rest on fri... shld i?? i think i might ba... after these 3 days i left 5 days leave... shld be enough for my next sem ba...? i hope so... haha... if nt then take unpaid leave lo... wad to do... haix...

5. this malay colleague of my is always pissing me to the max... what he shld do he just didnt bother and didnt do it... what that is not under his job scope he is doing... like reply to customer on delivery and all... shld be i'm doing it... he wants to reply for me... and the planning of the products to be done for my shipment stuff he jus ignore and all... wa lau... wad the hell u doing...? sickening sia...

6. i'm still enjoying my Sims 3... so fun... now it is the 3rd generation time... wahahah... so fun fun fun... i am so playing sims... have explored a lot of things and hoping to explore more of it... hahah... bt not tonight ba... cos having lesson... shall play more this wk... cos nxt wk so i have to study and prepare for my exam le... stress...

7. there are 2 classmates of my sis having H1N1... so scary... her class has roughly half of the students fall ill with fever.. and they had to stop sch for a week... so she dont have to go to sch this week since tue... n yst her teacher called up and said that her class has 2 students contacted H1N1 and 1 of them is her partner in class... how unlucky it is... she now has to monitor her own temperature and report to her teacher every morning... if she really down with fever i think sooner or later will be me le ba..? i dont wan lehx... i still want to take my exam... hahaha... no more money for unpaid MC or leave le...

hmm... think this shld be the end of it le ba... will upload my photos when i use internet at home and i'm not lazy at all ba... wahahaa... slowly wait ba...

Quiz Box

2009-07-27T16:21:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

~The Real U~

Here is the analysis:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

~what is your personality love style~

Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

~what type of personality do you have~

Bright and Cheerful

You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

~what does being a friend really mean to you~

You value your friendships: 75%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?

You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one.

~Your Marriage~

How will you choose your Mr Right?

No matter how many men you have beating a path to your front door, when it comes to picking Mr Right, you'll listen to your parents. Not only will you become weary of all your suitors, deep down you don't quite trust your own judgment.

Who will be your future Mr Right?

Your real-life hero will be manly. He'll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He'll probably be quite a bit older than you.

When will you get married?

As soon as you fall in love, you'll want to grab your man and hang on to him. You will probably marry very young, so it would be wise of you to think carefully before committing.

What sort of wife will you be?

If your hubby is crazy enough to ask you to do silly things, you may as well have fun with him. You'll make a fun-loving wife.

Will you and your husband have a good time together?

You and your spouse will choose to spend time on more romantic activities. You won't end up quite as healthy, but you'll have plenty of fun going out for drinks, watching concerts or playing cards at home with other friends.

What will your children be like?

Your kids will be quiet and won't give you a hard time - they'll be a joy to have around. However, you should teach them to be stronger and more confident in themselves. Otherwise they might grow up to be losers.

How loyal are you?

You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.

~~~
i think this is sufficient for u ppl to read le... lazy... hahahaha....

hope for speed recovery...

2009-07-10T15:43:00.005+08:00

hmm... my leg has yet to recover... but lucky it is so much better now... though my toe is still blue black kind and a little swollen... but at least i can walk le... not like the first day... wa... cant really walk sia...

yst had diarrhea the whole day.. cos of the antibiotic... called to check with the clinic if i can stop the med.. and yes.. i can.. haha... immediately that night i stop having diarrhea.. phew~

still thinking shld i go to see doc.. or let it recover by itself... a bit dont dare.. cos i scat pain... but i also quite worried if my toe dislocate or not le... hw arx?? and horx... i also dunno go where see doc.. wahahaha...

i'm a plain jane recently.. cos of eye infection... i cant put on make up.. so i wore specs to work.. hehe... seems quite relax to wear such an attire.. but then... very hard to match my clothes.... think i still nt very used to put on specs ba... my eye shall be ok by this wk.. n nxt wk i can put on make up still le... hehe...

here are some of my photos without make up... is it scary or natural?? or make up better?? or there is not much diff?? hahaha...

the above 2 pics are taken like quite sometimes ago le.. where no stress over my shoulder.. cos exam just over and its holiday... so look better rite??

this photo seems to be rather scary... hahaha... so shag and messy... a pleasant surprise given by my poly friends cos my bday n i stay at home to study... look so ugly.. hahaha.. or shld i say natural... hahaha...

k le.. enough of self critizing.. hahah... guess later u all will be sick of it...

wOoOo HoOoOo... It's FrdaY...!!! yeah... bt tml morning nd to meet for project... -_-"

bad day =/

2009-07-08T13:01:00.002+08:00

had such a bad day... this wk to be exact... i got eye infection since sat... and today is so much better le... but... another bad thing happen again...

i FELL down this morning!!!

damn... the moment i step out of my room i jus slip and fall.. my left leg hit the door of my mum's room... and my 2nd toe bent upward... now it is swollen.. and pain... can barely walk properly.. still have to go school tonight.. to do project... haix...

y is it so unlucky??...

in work.. the problem caused by the mud had not been resolved since last week.. and despite on mc yesterday.. i still went back to work... haix... today.. still have so many things to clear and follow up... headache...

d|sappo|nted

2009-07-05T00:53:00.002+08:00

i'm so lazy to blog... my life seems like a massive distruction... ppl at work seems to be getting more n more out of hand... i'm feeling so tired... it seems like there is no one day i can feel at ease when working... i will always be angry and pissed off by some colleagues...

went to watch ice age 3 with my poly friends... initially nv really tot of watching de.. den this rare guest - jb suddenly prompt to watch movie... and the 2 movies he choose is transformers or ice age.. well.. von watch transformers le.. so we left with ice age... haha... its really a funny show... it shows how ones' close friends are being affected when one is happily attached/wed with a family.. how the wife manage to help the husband to salvage the friendship... should go watch... nice and some sort educational...

i'm so disappointed with this particular someone... the disappointment sink in deeper every few weeks i suppose... i am happy for her to have a bf bt on the other hand sad for her to have lose her friends... everything frm the past and all the memories n help n long friendship does not even weigh the same as a yr r/s with her bf... should i say i'm sorry for u?? or should i say u did the right thing?... all the bits n pieces really makes me feel very disappointed... seriously feel that i've wasted all my time and energy on you for the past few years... i really feel like having to erased off frm my memory... everything u do nw makes me feel so upset... bt yet i cant really erase u off...

all i can say now is that... ur r/s with ur bf is way much impt than anything else... it makes me really see and understand how strong is our friendship... everything that built up from the past had jus collaspe and soon will be washed away...

fucking bustard

2009-06-30T15:16:00.002+08:00

i'm so bloody pissed with my mud colleague... so so angry................

wondering why am i so unlucky to have such a person in my office... stupid is not the word for him... neither does dumb suits him... i think it should be lazy, bustard, cunning... fuck!!!

i'm just too pissed le... on thurs when i trying to study for my test.. he called me at 11.30pm to ask me for help in locating my colleague as he cant get her through phone... he dont need to slp doesnt means that ppl dont nd to slp rite?? bloody hell...

yst i'm on mc... and yst night he text me... "Eunice, tml kindly come early not late external audit, msg from LT, tanx"... fuck... when i see this msg my blood boils... i dont mind u txt me to remind me nt to be late... but u dont have to use my manager as a backup... i know what is impt and wad i'm doing... i appreciate you in reminding me there is an external audit the nxt day... but u dont have to say its a msg frm my manager even though it is really a msg pass dwn by him... i hate ppl use names of those higher authority to ask me do certain things... i just hate it to the core...!!!

so... just like my normal character... i purposely late for work... i dont give a damn... even though my manager and MR is ard with the auditor... i just came in with a black face... i dont want to talk to him..

as the day pass... during noon time... he asked me a stupid qn... he asked me if he can sign the COC of the product.. fuck... he shld knw it lorx... i'm nt frm production y shld u ask me??? so i told him i asking LT to send it for me... n he said he will wait for my QA to be back to sign... so... everyone just wait lorx... y shld i make decision for him?? i get lesser pay than him.. i don have to carry so much responsibility... y shld i?? since he says wait.. so lets wait lorx...

and the final think that pissed me off up to this time is that... he sent me an email asking if i had sent out the quotation to my customer...!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! since when am i under him??? my manager didnt even question me.. y shld he question me?? and he cc the email to almost everyone in office.. including my manager... wad he wants to show?? he is working n i m not?? or he is concern of the thing or wad?? furthermore, i shld nt be sending quotation out n cc the rest in the office.. cos its price sensitive.. and y will they require to knw the price n all?? bloody hell... so i just click on the reply all.. and replied... i've sent out the quotation in the morning. this makes it seems like i did my job and he is too slow in asking me abt it...

and... even normal sending of quotation to customer, most of the times i didnt cc to my manager and he didnt even ask me anything.. so wad makes him have the cheek to ask me?? when i tell him abt customer thing.. he doesnt seems to bother... nobody likes him in the office.. even my manager who doesnt want to talk to him anymore regarding to work.. cos even if we tell him anything.. he doesnt even really bother abt it... wad is the point??

AAANNNGGGGRRRRRRYYYYY........................
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH....!!!!!!!!

surpriseee... best n tired bday

2009-06-28T23:15:00.012+08:00

i'm so so happy...

got all my desired presents n had a lot of pleasant surprises...!!! went to meet kaili they all for bday dinner on 25 June... initially had already make plans with kaili, steph, wk, n fang.. but wk last min cannot make it.. so no choice... on that day itself.. veron called and said she had no one to acc her for dinner... so she tag along...

surprise is that.. fang made a diy bday gift for me... she spent a few nights just to make it for me.. so sweet... n i got my desired bag.. i love it at the first sight... thank you ppl for the money spent on the gift.. n also.. veron went to get flowers for me... so sweet.. happy happy.. even though i have to study at night.. but i'm still very happy...

and...

on my bday itself.. i stayed home the whole day to study... till evening time.. i went to rest a while by taking a nap... and the nxt thing i know is that... mx, von, n meli... POP up outside my room and wish me "Happy Birthday"... wahahha... i nv expect them to come over.. so sweet of them... hahaha... and they got me the bag that i like... haaha.. i got so many bag nw... hehex...

went to have dinner with sam, lian, von, mx... haha... not bad larx the food.. nice place too.. den we went to clubbing..!! i made a membership card... cos if open 1 bottle and making a membership card is like no diff in price lo.. so i made myself one... we drank and drank... and mx vomit.. opps... this time is her le... bang is like so shock lorx... haha...

i drop my debit card.. =( i've called to lock the card le.. so no worries.. and they sending me a new one soon... think of the bright side.. i can have a new card.. the old one is gg to spoil soon le... hehe...

went to attend a relative wedding today.. super tired... reach hm nearly 5am this morning and wake up at 9am to prepare... wahahaha... dat night i studied till 5am and slp till 7am to go for test... reach hm slp at ard 2pm and wake up at 5pm... the amt of slp i had for the past few days is like... so little... omg.. i nd my slp.. don feel like gg to class tml... feel so tired... think i nt gg ba.. go hm rest better...

k le.. that's all for nw.. will update more when i gt things to update.. haha...

argh...

2009-06-24T03:07:00.003+08:00

i cant believe i'm still awake at this time!!!

its not what i want.. bloody hell.. tot i've finished my part for my project.. yet.. i still have to do someone's thing.. he just say he dont knw and didnt really offer to help till almost an hr ago whereby i already struggled so long le... pissed... its nt my part even... not as if i do the calculation and i will know every thing about it... o please.. i still have to struggle for 2 nights.. and what the hell he doing?? playing facebook game?? what the heck...!!!

he shld be doing a lot of part.. yet he only did like the min. part.. damn.. gd luck to u on the peer evaluation arx.. haa... guess i no nd to slp le ba.. its 3+ le... tml stil nd to work worx..

mama ask me to get urgent leave.. but horx.. if my admin didnt come how?? end up i still have to do it... den i still need to leave early for sch... hw?? shld i or shldnt i??

sUrPr|sE...!!!

2009-06-21T03:37:00.006+08:00

surprised... that is all i can say... i nv expect they will celebrate my bday for me... cos none of them said anything... and its seems like just a normal pri sch gathering with couples attending.. and also another 2 'new' member to the group... the 2 are still my pri sch friend.. just that we are from different class...

haha... wy was so funny.. he didnt remember me.. and dont knw my name.. after talking to me for quite a while.. he suddenly asked a question... "wad's ur name?" hahah... i've guessed it... so i took the name tag that tim had done for us and show it to him...

had a good chat with all of them.. and my stomach muscle hurts cos laugh too much le... so much entertainment...

we moved to cafe cartel cos tanapol n his gf have not had their dinner yet... we eat n chat till yx arrived.. both maree n yx was talking and suddenly yx ask me to go toilet... so my natural reply is.. "do wad?" cos maree is near her and she don wan to ask.. when we were back.. maree n wz were away... for quite some times even... when they were back.. wy was passing some message to mh.. and the rest just look behind my back...

hmm... this time round i feel something happening.. and i guess that they will be bring a cake for me.. so i tried very hard not to turn back.. but i just cant resist and turned.. haha.. i saw wz den i wanted to take a better look.. the rest ask me to turn back... haha.. and i knew it... they bought me a cake and also a bouquet of flowers with doraemon...!!! and the birthday card is giraffe...!! my fav... n i heard that they wanted to get a coach wristlet for me.. but for local store they don have white colour ones... its only available oversea.. so they didnt manage to get me a present yet... but i'm looking forward to it...

actually maree wanted to get the renoma bag for me... but it seems to be a little off white.. so end up they didnt buy.. but who knows... i like that bag.. and have already told veron they all about it le.. so no choice she still have to stick to the coach bag.. but anyway... thanks all for spending that amount and putting the effort for me...

feel so happy... although i'm a little sianx cos all attached le.. and when go out u all stick to bf.. but now.. think my pri sch grp have a little more ppl le.. at least gt another girl who is nt attach to acc me there... and a little more click to the guys.. although sometimes still nt very used to having so many guys around... but.. thanks...

i am looking forward to the other celebration... and pressiess... hahah... but still the surprises and all... gonna slp soon... ^_^

nightmare...

2009-06-14T23:09:00.002+08:00

had this dream at night.. so scary... i dreamt of myself getting bitten by 2 dogs... one on my ear and another one at my neck... there are lots and lots of dogs barking...

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. Alternatively, it indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten. If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it signifies some inner conflict within yourself. It may indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness.

To dream that a dog bites you on the leg, suggests that you have lost your ability to balance aspects of your life. You may be hesitant in approaching a new situation or have no desire to move forward with your goals. Alternatively, it symbolizes disloyalty.

If the dog is barking ferociously, then it represents your habit of making demands on people and controlling situations around you. It could also mean unfriendly companions.

To see ears in your dreams, suggest that you need to be more responsive or receptive to guidance and assistance from others. You may be relying too much on your own judgment and intuition. You need to listen more closely to what you are being told. Alternatively, it signifies your immaturity and lack of experience.

To dream of pain in your ear, indicates that you will be receive some bad or offensive news.

To dream that you are being bitten, represents your vulnerability regarding some unresolved issues or emotions. You may be pestered by a problem or obstacle. The dream may also be a metaphor indicating that you have bitten off more than you chew. Perhaps you have have too much to handle

To see your neck in your dream, signifies the relationship between the mind/mental and the body/physical. It represents willpower, self-restriction and your need to control your feelings and keep them in check. Consider the familiar phrase, "don't stick your neck out" which serves as a warning against a situation.

To dream that your neck is injured or sore, indicates a separation between your heart and mind. Alternatively, it could represent something or someone is literally a pain in the neck.

all of all.. i think i'm too stress ba... my mind dont seems to be working with my heart and so... i dont seems to be able to put up the strong self le.. or shld i say i've reached my limit?... i dont know.. from the dream.. it seems lidat..

Day 5 without my maid...

2009-06-14T03:38:00.006+08:00

its the fifth day... everything still managable... the washing n cleaning have not kill me yet.. only the mornings to work... can nv wake up early to do the offerrings... haha.. and had cab to work everyday... damn... she will be back soon... yeah...

went for dinner with my pri sch friends... Tanapol came to SG for work purpose... haha.. we had our dinner at KFC cos he loves KFC to the max... even he is full.. he still wan more..!! omg... haha... went to yellow jellow first.. but they said the music was too loud.. they cant talk.. so end up changing to minds' cafe... the journey from one place to another place was like so far... haix...

photos taken at yellow jellow... my mood suddenly plunge after i tripped and fall after the long walk... after so long.. its my first time falling le... lucky there are no bruises... only a small cut.. nth much... but i dont knw y i will feel like that... cried and still feel like crying after the games... i didnt lose worx... i still win... but.. just don really know y...

think i've frighten them again... but i really cant help it... i so feel like hidding myself and isolating from the rest of the world... dont want to face ppl and dont want ppl to ask me any single thing... but i dont think this can be archieved...

they planning to go Sentosa next week.. but i really don feel like going... i scat i will fall again.. haha... i cant really walk much.. if not my back will ache and pain.. but if really were to go Sentosa.. having to climb up of the stupid bus and all the walkings... omg... i just don want to imagine... i really feel like giving it a miss.. but i dont think i can... how am i going to do this? haix...

my back aching now after the long walk... to and fro... shall go to bed le...

day 1 w/o maid...

2009-06-09T22:49:00.002+08:00

Day 1: woke up late.. cos i slpt late the other night.. just to cook myself maggi noodle.. and after eating i gotta wash up the dishes... dont have the time to make my own milo and prepare for the prayer table... haix.. gotta cab down to work... tried to come home early to wash my clothes... but first of all is to have dinner out.. so i dont have to wash the dishes after eating... haha...

done with that... i'm so confused now... tot of dropping my marketing to minor... cos at that time i'm really dragged of doing projects and all... sick of it due to the setback that i had experienced... but now.. after talking to my manager... tot of giving it a try again... but i'm still confused.. is it really what i want? or is it just because of my character that doesnt admit defeat..? i really not sure le... i still have till july to sort out my thinking and prepare myself to do what i've finally decided...

well... i've received the BEST birthday present...! it is mid-term test on 27 June...! bloody hell... hahaha... had more or less planned how i going to celebrate my birthday.. and the plan start from 25 - 27 June... but now.. i gotta cancel the one on 26 June de.. which is on my birthday itself.. just to study... sianx... had arranged my leave on that day and plan to stay home study... gosh... i guess this is the most memoriable birthday celebration i ever had ba... hahah...

future seems to be so blur and far... dont really know what i wanna do le... guess i gotta really change my mindset and adapt to the dog-eat-dog world out there...

Jia You ba... ^_^

don't UnderStand...

2009-06-06T01:17:00.005+08:00

i just still dont understand y ppl change so drastically... its not a little.. its not mild... but it is so drastic change that i really cannot understand... y is it like that?... is it cos my the ppl they get to know or the situation that they are in?... it seems like changing in a blink of eye...

dont seems to be able to talk to... they just turn their back on you... and maybe to the extend of badmouthing u?... i dont know... humans are so so hard to understand... so complicated... i dont feel like thinking of it le... just let u be ba... u dont seems to be happy when with us or so de... if u wanna leave.. jus say so ba...

went to celeb fang's bday on thurs... hahah... gave her a surprise by letting her thinks that she only meeting me to kbox... planned with veron, aili n kelly to surprise her... bought her fav. cake and her fav. gift card... really dont knw wad to get for her.. she like guess.. but recently there dont seems to be any bag frm guess that catches my eye... so bought her a gift card.. so she can go buy it.. there is a credit of $100 in it lo...haha... she is so touch that she cried... hahah... happy happy happy...

kelly left early on that day... so she was not in the photo... is glad to hear from aili that she had found her Mr. Right.. and is happy with him... congrats girl... hope to hear the wedding bells from you soon ba... hahahah...

oh... i've forgotten about it... dat day went car wash with yj and fang... haha... so interesting.. only get to see ppl wash car alone and nv been to those car wash where u let ppl wash for u and u are sitting in the car de... hahah... so interesting... when they start to spray water.. i got a shock and yj saw it lo... so paisei... hahaha... but not bad.. quite fun and the car is clean within minutes.. hahaha...

learn to believe in myself...

2009-06-01T13:30:00.002+08:00

WTF...! pardon me for being so valgur... but i'm bloody pissed after reading an entry... guess i should really trust my 6th sense instead of he says she says..

well... u may ask wad is my 6th sense... well.. i myself can judge the guy base on my willingness in talking to him... if i'm able to talk and disturb that person... showing my 'true' self.. the guy is consider a rather gd guy in reality... but if the person who i dont really wanna talk to or giving him a one word reply and all... or maybe even having difficulty in talking to him... the guy is consider a relatively bad guy...

y am i saying this?... cos i've experienced it since the very first r/s... well.. lets not go too far.. take R for example, i know for the fact that i cannot really communicate with him and not being able to show my true self in front of him... result showing... R is really not a gd person... as for friends' bf... when i'm able to talk to him and/or disturb him the first time i met him.. it is proven that they are better guys... and most of my friends' bf are really gd to my friends...

so if were to really think of it... that person is not a very gd preson base on my 6th sense.. but i didnt really there to bother abt it... and also didnt really notice it... cos i have some 'difficulties' in talk with him... on the very first day i met him... if u really go think abt it.. i guess u think so too...

after reading someone's blog.. i feel that he really falls into that category... ha.. wad he think he is?... charming prince?... nah... his acts are really so kiddish... it seems to be wad i've did in the past... years before... but not nw... however... he tot me a great lesson... nv to judge a person by its appearance, action and even comments frm others... i have to learn to believe in myself... and really have to post certain test on them to judge n gauge if they are real and all.. cos at times.. 6th sense may fail too... haha...

wonderfu| day...

2009-05-31T17:41:00.009+08:00

yst was a tirring but great day...

went to celeb mx bday in the morning... we were suppose to meet at 10.30am... end up.. all of us left home at around 11am... and in the end meeting at ard 12noon instead... hahah... what a nice one rite?... lunch at sakae.. nice... my fav. sashimi...

went to underwater world.. n dolphin lagoon... and i have to rush another bday celebration again... haha...

went down to veron's daughter bday... den to st james for ah lian's bday... so so tiring... reach home and knock out... i'm so tired can..? fall aslp when i'm on cab home frm sentosa le.. o my.. lucky i manage to wake up... if nt i dunno where i will go again le...

well... was feeling kinda awakard during the bbq.. cos last time.. i was introduced to the others as someone's soon to be gf... bt things change.. and it is really 180degree change... to the extend that i dunno y i should be there... managed to talk to 2 of louis' friends... till nw i still don rmb their name.. so.. its ok... and the 2 are the ones dat know me as 'someone's soon to be gf' hw awakard it is... when he arrived.. totally no communication was done... and i have totally no mood to talk to that person... given my mood for the day was gd... only talk to the 2 particular person and stick to fang n her bf... when they left.. louis n veron made effort to talk and keep me accompany.. cos mx they all still have nt had their dinner... so no pt going dwn early.. haha...

louis manage to tell me of myself.. what i am in work and my stubborness and all... he makes me think of what i want in r/s... but then... what i want are just fairy tale... i am still not willing to face the reality...

i've changed... and i'm nt sure have i change for the better or for the worst... change to cover everything frm others... hide behind a mask... forcing everyone to think that i am ok... not willing to face failure and oppose to what ppl think is the right thing to be done... am forcing myself to the extend that no one can help me...

what i really am??

not forgeting to thanks YM for keeping me accompany with the sms-es... keep my brain processing just to reply his sms... and make sure i am home safely... thanks for that... whenever i drink a lot.. he will be there smsing me and wait till i reach home den slp... n my friends who are concern of me as well...

ThaNk u...!

ranDomZ

2009-05-30T00:52:00.002+08:00

suddenly have a lot of things to write.. dunno y.. hha...
shall say about my busy schedule for tml... wa.. think no one is so busy like me lorx... in 1 day.. 3 bday celebration... haha... omg!!! can die rite??
1. Lunch cum Sentosa trip - MX Bday...
2. Dinner cum BBQ - Veron's daughter.. Claudia Bday...
3. Clubbing cum drinking - WS Bday...

faint... haha... i feel like i'm rushing for dunno wad... hahah... and at this time i'm still awake.. just finish every single thing for MX de present only... hopefully... hahah.. shall see hw i will be like on sunday... hahah...

next...
really found out that i have so many ppl who care for me... thank u ppl... i'm so touched when i see those msg and msn pop up... ppl whom i least expected to have pop up such msg.. i'm fine le.. really ok... don worry...

i have random emotions... it goes up n down as and when it likes.. cannot be controlled.. can be happy at a time.. and crying at the other time... dunno y... hahah... what can i do?.. its my dumb hormones that control my brain.. haha...

and...
avoid does not bring you to anywhere.. neither does it solves your problem/s... it may also end up u having less friend and so on... if u manage to see this... pls rmb.. ur friends are who u are comfortable staying and hanging ard with... don because of certain thing or people and avoid your friend... its nt wroth it.. ppl still have to carry on living... its nt that w/o u they cant live.. but to loss a close friend that you had known for years is really not worth it...
think more and just be urself... no point avoiding and hidding..

lastly...
there are ups n downs in life... just like stock market.. u nv knw what will happen next.. although it can be analyse and things may be going on in wat u expect... but it is nt totally what it is... no one know the future... u can only predict.. just like stock market... haha... maybe i study too much le...
but.. ya.. late nature take its course... when a door shut.. run to another open door... ur future/happiness/love/etc... is there waiting for you...

i'll be strong... will be stronger than yesterday...

love my friends.. they are so sweet n thoughtfull... appreciate you guys... thanks... =)

physically tired

2009-05-26T15:07:00.002+08:00

i'm so sleepy... wanna slp le... at this hour... better dont get caught...

i've no idea of what my post is gonna be about... jus too pack and busy with my schedule.. too many ppl de bday... i so wanna slp...

terr|ble

2009-05-13T13:18:00.003+08:00

feeling so shitty... everything seems to be gg the wrong direction.. everything seems to be screwed up.. what is happening? i feel so lost.. so lost in every aspects.. i dont knw what i am capable anymore... ppl say effort = result.. but i doubt so.. my sky seems to be falling dwn soon.. so soon till i cannot see the rainbow anymore.. so soon till i can feel the thunderstorm approaching... what is there for me to go for?

friends are said to be there for u... but most of them have their own life... what is the point of asking u out n not talking to u?.. what is the point to see and ask whereby it seems to be a one-way traffic?... u have know me so many yrs.. and u know what i will think in certain aspects.. other than that.. u know the feeling of being alone.. but what have u done now? its just fulfilling on what u said u don like in the past.. and its even worst.. ppl do change.. but u had changed to someone whom i can no longer communicate with.. someone whom i will try to avoid cos i dont want to feel the hurt in it.. u are not there when i need u.. u are not there at any other time... looking at u makes me feel so disappointed.. so many yrs of friendship cannot even be on par with a few months r/s... everything is so fragile... so terrible...

nothing seems to go well for me.. NOTHING!!!

i feel rather miserable now.. what can i do? life is full of up and down.. but my life seems to be only down and further down.. when can i finally see the sun?... when can i finally relax myself and all?? when?... how can i not to think of anything when thinking doesnt even help at all? finally get a route in my life and after few steps forward with bruises and falls.. it is blocked again..

why is life so unfair??? especially to me.. what had i done wrong?... i'm always trying to be strong.. strong in front of anyone else.. but how long can i take it? i'm just feeling v tired... so tired..

it's over...

2009-05-10T22:03:00.002+08:00

this week finally come to an end... all the trouble n all had past... one of the day turns out to be better than what i've expected... at least more enjoying n all... more heart talking and more soul searching... really have to think it through and not act rush... have to change for the better.. however.. the other day was terrible.. it's expected.. and the only word i can say is... disappointed..

i'm so tired now.. didnt slp yst night.. cos in chalet.. wanted to slp.. but heard ppl snoring... first is frm the left side.. when left side stop snoring.. right side start snoring.. when right side stop.. left side start.. and this goes on for an hr or 2... when finally both side stop snoring... its the thunder that starts... and it goes on for another hour... arggh... when i manage to take a wink.. someone's hp alarm goes on... and so i'm so awake from 4am to 7am... so poor me... have to wait for them to check out and have breakfast at mac and all.. reached home at 12noon.. only manage to slp for ard 3hr and off to prepare to meet my mum for mother's day.. haix... having headache le.. tml is a long day...

jia you ba...

*still thinking and thinking.. but the answer does not surface up*

TOO early TOO late

2009-05-07T15:11:00.002+08:00

what is meant to be will also be... what is not.. will nv be.. ppl always say this... meeting the right person at the right time is very important as well... but it does not really always happen... meeting the right person too early and realising it too late... time plays a very important role... well.. let time tell... haha~

am watching "hes just not that into you" and is a really nice show... women like to think of excuess to cover up why men doesnt call and why is he doing certain things.. the girl friends of these women are does not dare to tell them the truth and also add on to the expectation... what is true is that hes just not interested.. that is the fact and the only answer..

facing it and dealling with it is the only way out.. haha... so girls out there.. don cover up for guys that doesnt call or contact u and all.. face it and move on...

kk.. continue my show le.. haha...

t|r|ng...

2009-05-05T16:30:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired.. think i'm really getting old le.. jus a night and i dont seems to be able to take it le.. nxt week how?? o no... was having OT till 11pm yst.. and reach home at ard 11.45pm... cant really manage to wake up today... i miss my bed... keep dozing off in office today.. its the first time after i finish my exam...

what will it be like after i start school?? i guess i will be even more tired le... so fast its tue le.. gg to be weekend soon.. in just a wink of eye.. omg... how how how??? scary... so worried.. will i be in the same class as him?? cos he is the only person whom i know in finance class.. and the only person whom i talk to in finance class... i'm so lazy to go make friend and all... know new ppl is so tiring... i just want the normal old clique of friends...

i'm just so contridicting... i want to be successful in my career and all.. but i also want to lead a simple life.. how is it possible?? how can be successful n lead simple life if there isnt any hardwork and all to be put in?... haha... gd question that i have...

i'm jus so tired... tired of everything.. tired of waiting.. tired of life... haix... dont worry i'm not having any mood swing.. i'm jus really tired.. wanna slp n really rest.. but guess will have to wait for next year le.. cos i dont think i will have enough leave to take and money to spend... waiting for sponsor hahaha...

what a day!!!

2009-05-04T14:46:00.003+08:00

the start off for the week/day is terrible... couldn't get to sleep at night.. or i should say this morning... keep tossing n turning in bed till ard 2am or even 3am... and have difficulty in waking up also... so.. the first day of work for this week I AM LATE...!!! this is not the main thing... the main issue is...

when i'm having my lunch jus now in the canteen.. out of nowhere came the chilli sauce.. none of my colleague was eating any sauce at that point of time... and look up... there is a bird on top... it must be done by the bird..!! i don think its shit cos its red in colour... unless the bird is having mens... den probably... -_-"
come to think about it.. i'm lucky that it didnt drop on my head or in my food.. if it drops on my head.. i'm gonna take half day home to wash my head!!! eew.... if it drops on my food at most i buy a new bowl... sianx... wad an event to start the week...

in order to make myself happy... i bought a small doreamon back rest cushion... so happy.. haha.. this is to compensate on the upset event...

* wondering what it is now... got a feeling that i know the ans le... it seems to be the same as my dream... dont ask me y.. but this feeling seems to be very strong...
* not having too much hope... i think it will soon be time... if it really happen... this shld be the 2nd or 3rd case le ba... dont really rmb... well.. i can say it is always the same me in realising what i should realise... but.. too bad...
* according to facebook quiz, which may not be real... indicates that i should have 6-10 bfs before i get the right one... haha... i guess i'm at the 5th or 6th one le ba... if you were to consider flings and all... i really don want to hit 10... its so hard to manage... and i'm lazy to keep on falling for ppl... damn tired can...

k le ba... go back to work... nth much to do also... cos i'm almost done with my mth end stuff.. haha... not very looking forward to the weekend... cos:
1. it seems to be a tiring weekend..
2. it will be a 'lonely' weekend...
3. i will be broke due to mother's day..
4. after this weekend i have to go back to school on monday le...

haix~ ja y0u ba...

freaky rain...

2009-05-03T14:14:00.002+08:00

reach home this morning at ard 2+ am from marina sq... took night rider home... it suddenly rain.. and its so scary... heavy thunderstorm... have to walk all the way to the overhead bridge and climb the overhead bridge... the wind is so strong also larx... wa lau... gt shelter like no shelter also... wet.

i'm like shilvering lorx... most ppl who know me knows that i'm super frighten of thunder n lightnings... i almost burst into tears... not knwing what to do.. but just keep on walking.. my mind only think of reaching home asap.. so i wont be caught in the rain and having to see lightnings and hear thunder...

once i reach home.. its like... thank god... but i'm still shilvering... manage to calm myself down before gg to bed... i really don want to be outside in the road during thunderstorm le... =(

| told u so...

2009-05-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

come across this song... upon listening to it... it makes my eyes red and watery... suddenly feeling very emo and all sort of pictures keep flashing in my mind... i love the lyrics and the meaning of it... it stirs up all sort of feelings that i have... for each and everyone...

its a nice song... and i simply love it when i hear it for the first time...

Carrie:
Suppose I called you up tonight
And told you that I love you
And suppose I said I wanna come back home
And suppose I cried and said I think I finally learned my lesson
And Im tired of spending all my time alone
If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted
And it's killing me to be so far away
Would you tell me that you love me too
And would we cry together
Or would you simply laugh at me and say...
I told you so
Oh I told you so
I told you some day you'd come crawling back
And asking me to take you in
I told you so
But you had to go
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again

Randy:
If I got down on my knees
And told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand

Together:
Would we get that old-time feeling
Would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began

Carrie:
Would you tell me that you've missed me too
And that you've been so lonely
And you've waited for the day that I returned

Together:
And we'd live and love forever
And that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned

Carrie:
And would you say I told you so
Oh I told you so
I told you some day you'd come crawling back
And asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go

Randy:
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again

Together:
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again
Over..

its so meaningful... something done may not be un-done... hurt will always be there... when its over.. it is over... but why will ppl always learn to cherish when its over.. why do ppl regret and wanting to turn back time when they know it will be impossible??... why is it so?? not to pin point on anyone with this phrase.. cos i'm like that as well...

heard from radio... there is the guy who woo a girl during sec sch time... n when he confess to the girl.. she told him that she is not ready and wanna put her time in her o'level... however, 7 yrs later... both of them are together... how sweet it is... it seems like when u alway say it is impossible for u and a particular person.. u nv knw in the end u really fall for the person.. its jus an uncontrollable action... there are actually a lot of such incident happening around us...

another day n counting...

2009-04-29T15:23:00.002+08:00

its another day nearer to my school starts again... drag of this kind of feeling... but at least i still manage to rest.. its still not so bad yet... should be happy.. haha.. have got nothing better to do in office these days... tot i will be very busy.. but i'm not so busy actually.. relatively slack i should say... have ample time to think of things and all.. but on n off there are some problems regarding to work that let me worry n angry off... but overall still not so bad.. working the days without my admin is kinda boring.. no one to disturb n talk to me.. haix.. my friends seem very busy today.. no on to talk to le.. so bored...

maree told me to give someone time to think.. cos i need to think doesnt means the person doesnt need to think.. so... time is given... to when?? i dunno.. i'm just too selfish... just think of myself ba... i just want what i want... i want fast ans.. i want direct ans... i don wan to be wishy washy.. though at times i am... but yes means yes.. no means no.. haha... mayb this is what i learn recently during work.. and it seems like i will be going to be more daring and so.. is this good or bad?? well.. i've no idea... haa...

k le.. dunno wad to post le.. shld go back to work... n think.. n dream... haha...

confused shld be the right word...

2009-04-28T17:43:00.002+08:00

hmm... promised my friends that i will not use my com when i'm home after work... cos it's so 'nan de' for me to rest at home... cos of my studies n all... yst i finally can slp early.. slpt at 11+ and don feel like waking up... haha.. 11+ is still consider late... shld try 10+ tonight.. haha..

being an impatient person.. i just want to know the ans soon and fast.. cos i knw the flame will be dying off for waiting too long.. not wanting to waste this opp and knowing someone seems to be a blockhead.. what is the most applicable way to approach?? i knw waiting is not my cup of tea.. so what shld i do?

i believe ppl will be thinking wad the hell m i talking abt.. bt.. u guys just wait patiently ba.. i shall reveal it when the time is right.. if its over.. den shall just leave it as a secret ba.. kinda lazy to go upload too many pictures.. however, picture speaks a thousand words... bt not nw... i'm still anxious to knw the ans, the response n reaction.. hw is it like??... can i knw the ans n all soon???

finally the end of i trimester...!

2009-04-26T14:34:00.002+08:00

finally its over... i've been waiting for this day since weeks ago... my last paper is over... yeah.. i'm so happy.. at least i can rest for 2 wks.. haa.. better than nth... hopefully next sem is not so taxing... i think i will not ba.. cos i'm taking 2 modules.. shld be so much better than this sem le.. hahaha... so luck that i didnt really study yst.. cos if i really do study.. i will end up studying the wrong topic and wasting my time and energy on it... haa.. manage to answer most of the questions.. its is not as bad as wad i thought of.. its more like application question.. when u really do and put in effort on the project.. the questions are still consider ok... so.. i think i will pass ba.. shld not be a problem..

hmm... saw this quote on the bus.. bt i think i didnt rmb too clearly on it.. but it goes smthing like... "nobody is perfect untill u love them" as beauty is on the eye of the beholder.. really got the understanding of it.. when u like the person.. no matter what he/she does is still perfect to u.. though there will still be rooms for improvement.. but u will still he/she is the only one le.. it was also said that time heals all wound... but got frm the quote is that "not time but love heals all wounds" although u are wounded by someone in the past.. but the love showered by the new someone will slowly heal the wound that you are carrying ard..

come to think of it.. am i late?.. is it too late to realise? or is it just the old and usual me who always late.. slow in finding out.. slow in understanding certain things... the feeling of waiting is terrible.. have been living my life "alone" and my world is surround by me.. myself.. n I.. becoming v selfish and expect others to think for me first rather than themselves... to adapt to "couplehood" seems to be a hard route.. giving n taking seems to be the only way out.. but it is always easier to be said than done... how is it possible to handle it and all?? it is like a long long essay qn with no right or wrong ans... haa...

well.. that is all for now..
not all bus will be waiting there for so long.. it still have to continue its own journey and will drive away.. is chasing behind the bus the only solution in order to catch the bus?.. or to wait for the next bus not knowing what is coming up...

no words can describe how i feel...

2009-04-26T00:15:00.004+08:00

it's finally the last paper le.. and i totally have no mood to study...! really no mood.. think i've drained out all my energy in my projects le... that is why i totally do not have the mood to study.. it seems to be what i used to feel during poly ba... reallly too tired to study le... bt i guess i will start to study still... no matter wad...

when i told someone that i don feel like studying.. the response i get is that.. "u not afraid that u fail?" haha.. come to think of it.. i now quite scared le... so will start later.. think i used to nua till late night then start study le.. past 2 papers are still alright.. over confident.. but should not be too bad larx... hopefully i still can make it.. haha...

went out today.. though its exam week.. haha.. but study n study.. haix.. i really need a break!! i'm just too stress out le.. stress makes to tired... well.. help someone to post some photos.. haha..

here u go.. haha... went to meet them just now.. for some bbq stuff.. well.. its their friend's bbq larx... was asked to attend by someone.. n also take it as a chance to acc someone.. haha.. i think the someone know what someone means larx.. so i shall not ctn.. haha...

i know someone wants me to post the pic of someone.. but not now ba.. prob next time k??.. haha... anyway u have it.. so u jus see frm ur phone lo.. haha..

well.. ask me how i feel... kinda funny... a little diff from what i expect.. and how i expect.. is it the ppl or is it the occassion?? beats me.. jus feel a little left out though u are still around me.. don really feel the sense of importance.. maybe there is larx.. but its not so strong afterall... if i'm in the shoe what will i do?? i guess i will be the same ba.. hmm.. so shall not blame that someone.. like it was being said.. u nv know what will happen next.. so jus see how it goes ba... feels a little disappointed as well.. maybe i've expect too much?? haa... not sure.. shall wait n see...

k le.. i shall go n study le.. jia you !!! after this bloody paper i can come back home n sleep my sun away.. prepare to go to work on mon le.. tata~

clearing my thoughts...

2009-04-23T22:19:00.004+08:00

i guess i roughly know the ans to my question... after thinking n thinking... should have knw it long ago.. but i failed to do so... so.. haha...

dont worry.. it does not affect my studies... shall see what i wanna do abt it le..

gd luck for my exam!!! jia you o..!!

~another day...

2009-04-21T23:16:00.003+08:00

its another day nearer to my exam... it'm so tired and restless to study.. cant manage to put anything into my brain... cant even sit down still to study... help~ how to sit for exam?? argh... damn...

hmm.. went to meet veron, louis n shaun at thomson plaza just now.. well.. everythings seems to be ok.. its been quite some times since the 4 of us get together.. guess its been a yr le ba... or maybe more.. after veron got married we nv really have a chance to meet.. maybe there will be more of such chance to come?? haha... i don knw.. well.. guess ns makes ppl grow.. it seems that he is more mature n doesnt give me the feeling of childish... haa.. i guess it shall be a compliment for him ba.. haha...

erm.. if u ask me how is it.. well.. managed to talk a lot.. and crap a lot.. but still i'm nt very used to be speaking english.. maybe its that the environment that i'm in is usually chinese speaking.. that is y when u ask me to speak english.. its as if u wanna kill me.. hahah...

well.. anyway.. wish him get well soon ba.. and be more careful when riding his bike.. haa.. but doubt he wil get to see this post.. and hope he wont b able to to so.. cos wad i think as compliment may be what he thinks as ??? haha.. i dont knw.. shall post the photos of me n veron once she send them to me..

k le.. stop here ba.. gonna slp soon.. so so tired..
ps. can someone study n take the exam for me?? haha...

p|ssed aga|n~

2009-04-16T00:54:00.002+08:00

cant imagine there are such ppl around... i dont knw to say her dumb or sucker... such simple task for her and yet she fail to perform it... o please.. if she tell me she's from generation X or baby boomers i have nth to say... but she's just a yr younger than me.. should be more IT savvy and more brain.. yet.. generating pie chart using excel and to sum up the results seems to be so hard for her... she can tell me that the result she got from the pie chart is like shit... isnt there something known as mouth and phone?? dont she have the mouth to ask and the phone to call?? just a simple thing and she delay for like 2 days and nth useful is out.. its just a waste of time..

when i asked her to sum up the result in excel for the survey.. she still have the cheek to ask me to ask others to do... fuck.. moreover it is logical to sum up the score for survey... i've even sent them the journals for the analysis.. and she didnt even read and just send me incomplete stuff... another one worst.. MIA... nv even ask wad she can help out... it's like thursday morning now.. and my result is not out yet.. have to submit on sat le... these few days am very busy at work... cant even do my project in office le... stress... i think i just complete the whole report by myself ba... asking them to do is just a waste of time... in the end i still have to redo and stuff like that... damn...

bloody dumb ass... fucking idiots... damn whores... watever...! pardon me for the valgurities... i'm really at my limit le... thanks...

p|ssed... stucked...

2009-04-12T22:24:00.002+08:00

pissed with today's connection... damn bloody slow.. haha... cant seems to go into the website i wanna go de... msn keep on showing "The following message could not be delivered to all recipients" damn... give up using le.. gg to bed again after blogging.. hope it wont take too long...

did nth but slping, using com n eating these 2 days... its been so long since i last relax myself... it feels so good.. no worries no problems.. how i wish i can spend more days like that.. bt i knw i am just dreaming... slowing dream on ba.. haa..

well... feel so... arghh.. i dont knw hw to discribe... well.. that day R came to look for me.. and he pissed me off with the questions he asked... stop trying ba.. move on... i'm already gone le... no point trying.. its just too late.. i dont want to waste another day.. dont want to get myself hurt again..

dont really feel like having or getting someone yet.. probably is that i have not meet the right on yet ba... i also dont knw what i want... what i'm thinking... days pass and i'm still alone.. still thinking what i want... i knw sometimes i will give ppl the wrong impression n thinking.. but i'm just me.. u cant stop me from being myself.. i knw ppl have to grow.. and i am growing... i'm trying to grow and be more mature... bt that is towards work ba..? personal life... i'm still learning to be someone i am.. not wanting to copy how others are... i am who i am... just take it or leave it ba..

there is this song i want to delicate to R... time to move on and stop trying... i'm no longer the little girl whom he thinks i m in the past le... stop trying to trick me into you trap le.. i'm sick of it le... below is the song by Girlicious - Already Gone:

there is no mv but the lyrics of the song... but its a nice song.. and reflects on what i'm thinking... enjoy..

~sw|ng

2009-04-09T13:04:00.002+08:00

blame it on the month... blame it on myself...

i dont know what is wrong with me.. mayb its the period of the month or maybe i am really such sensitive.. dont like the feeling of being left out... dont like the feeling of being alone.. dont like the feeling of not being cared and concerned off... dont misunderstand.. its not abt bgr thing...

its just a part with my colleagues... i dont know how to put it in words and all... its too long of a story... maybe what they think is different from what i think.. but i am jus not happy about it... it seems that everyone has 2 faces... i really dont know which is which.. maybe its cos of the 'masters' who result in the others to follow.. mayb its just that they forget abt me.. i also don knw.. all i know is that when they need you.. they are gd.. when they dont... be prepared to listen negative comments passing ard.. sick of it... hate this kind of working life.. hate these ppl...

being the star in the company is so hard.. being the apple of the eyes of the superior will have to be prepared to be the bulleye of the rest... once its possible.. they will throw a dart towards you and see where it hits.. if it hits the bulleye.. gd luck.. be prepared to face anything that comes to you.. if it hits the side.. thank god.. u only suffer from minor injury...

blame it.. blame it on ...

~effort pays up

2009-04-08T22:37:00.004+08:00

i'm so so happy... at least my effort for the past few weeks pays up... been working reasonably hard for my projects... putting in every single brain juice i have in all my projects... and now.. i see the fruit of them...

MRA although the final project result is not out yet... the most worried part had passed... my lit review... i've struggled several days staying up late till 2-3 midnight everyday... gg to work late.. get urgent leave just to take a little rest and to continue doing my project ALONE... none of them are useful enough to help in the project.. even if to split the part accordingly to do... i still have to redo it.. and it is OUT of PoinT... just found out on monday that i've passed it... initially i thought i had failed it.. cos my lecturer just glance through my project and comment on it... well... i manage to get one of the top few in class for that report... sigh... feel so relieve... now is to beautify the part and add in more info and points into my final report for this... yeah~

IM is so much of a terror to me... the lecturer is strict... presentations are terrible... almost every group are being critisized by him... not really understand his requirement for the report and all... start the write up rather late.. basically 2-3days before the submission date... stay up till 4 in the morning just to complete my part and all... and the result is that we scored the highest in the class... its a HD...! wow... thanks to my group member with their great effort and high english standard... my course work is like in HD standard as well... so have to buck up on my main exams to maintain the good result...

haha.. so happy... this is the 2nd gd news that i received from school le.. hope tml will have another good news.. haha... finance law... haa...

well the enrollment for next sem starts le... finally decided to take up only 2 modules for this sem... dont think i can take 3 modules le.. really very stress... initially tot of taking IA, TM and IMC.. but all are very tough...
IA has 2 group project analysis...
TM has to do online tutorials...
IMC has 3 group presentations and final report...
dont think it is advisable le... think i will be super tired and cannot do well if i continue to take 3 modules per sem le... anyway the economy is still weak.. even if i complete my degree early i may not be able to change a job.. so hmm.. y not just take it slow..?

yeah.. my final decision... take 2 modules per sem le... i have to score for finance...! dont want to have poor result.. that is not the point of studying and doing the best... haa...
k le.. gotta start with my final report le.. haha... tata~

the r|se of ra|nbow |n front of my eyes...

2009-04-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

finally i see the beam of light... fianlly~

i managed to pass my lit review which i tot i failed... my effort paid up... i didnt waste my effort.. but is it fair for me?.. well... at least i got wad i wan.. and will mark them accordingly.. both of them at least make the effort.. unlike the other one.. totally hopeless.. even the individual report which was due last week, she had not complete it this week... and everyone had handed up their reports already...

this is my first time talking to the guys in my class.. and is like talk really a lot.. joking and all.. fun... but this is the last lesson.. haha... don think will be in the same class next sem le ba.. but they are all interesting ppl... hope to see them next sem.. haha...

i'm left with my final report... complete it and prepare for my exam... maybe on and off i can study.. my paper is like 3 days lorx...
24-April 7 - 9pm
25-April 2.30 - 4.40pm
26-April 9.30 - 12.40pm

terrible.. my weekends are gone.. my slp are gone... slpless... haix... think i look older already.. dunno what others think abt my age le.. haa.. don think i look like my age.. damn.. i shall spend more on facial products and make ups... maybe i will look younger?? haha...
will rest more after my exams... yeah~

jia you eunce...!!! haha...

m|ss|ing...

2009-04-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

hmm... the feeling of missing some one... haa... dont ask me who i missed... i wont tell u... hahaha...

but am curious with the kind of feeling... dont know why will such a feeling surface up when i cant or know that it impossible to get the person.. be it due to work commitments or whatever... haha..

knowing it will be impossible.. but i'm not sure why i will have such a feeling... maybe it's cos my heart is rather empty now.. or maybe it's cos i'm too close to that person... or maybe... maybe... too many maybes... but not sure which is the actual answer...

well.. dont dwell too much... u guys out there dont be too curious... haha...

damnx...

2009-03-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

tot it's the end of my chaotic week n all.. bt now it's the beginning week of the real chaotic time of my life... i failed MRA report again...

i dont feel like saying much le... STRESS~~~~~~

bdayz~

2009-03-29T21:46:00.006+08:00

went to celebrate both kaili n kelly's bday on fri n sat...

celebrate kaili's bday on fri night at bliss cafe at punggol park... the food there is nice... yummy... nv expect there will be so many ppl there... it's like full house... haha... first time i try my new phone to take photos... it's so nice n clear.. bt the file size is huge as well...

nice rite??... i'm loving it... haha...

jus a pic of kaili blowing the candle of her bday cake...

sat is kelly's bday celebration... woke up early in the morning cos need to go to sch... dress nicely cos i will be out for the whole day... meet fang for lunch n movie after lesson... watched confession of a shopaholics... nice show... interesting... n my tear glands seems to be working v hard recently.. cos i cried in the middle of the show... n its not once... bt several times... so paisei.. fang have to pass me tissue.. haha...

then we went to citylink for dinner at new york new york... it's a pity that both veron n aili cannot make it.. cos it's real fun meeting up... its been few months since we meet up le...

a pic of the card that we bought for her and her will the birthday cake... after that we make our way to st james... well.. initially was rather fun.. had fang to come along with us... but as the time pass... there are more n more ppl... more n more muds... n they are crowding ard us...

hmm... i reali cant be clubbing alone or with jus a friend... i will end up be knowing or dancing with guys... terrible... after kelly went back.. we went to meet shi yu n his friends... got to knw this guy and is shi yu's friend's friend... haa... bt i don really feel like meeting n knowing new ppl... so i didnt give him my no... too bad... haa... if there is chance sure will meet de... so it's ok..

i nv expect that shi yu will see me ard bugis area... haa... he went to the library n i went to sch.. hmm.. he's taking degree i suppose at kaplan... hmm... that's all.. o ya.. n he tot i there will be progression between me n dat guy.. bt.. i didnt.. haa...

slpt the whole day today.. reach home ard 5am n i slp till 7pm... haa... thanks to the rain in the afternoon.. so nice weather to slp.. haha... feel like slping again... tml nd to do project again le... haix.. haha... k le.. tata for nw~

ending of the chaotic week...

2009-03-27T00:12:00.002+08:00

finally its gg to be fri le.. still struggling on IM.. and left out MRA... gosh... after IM is another project...

when will i every complete every thing?.. hang on.. this is the only 2 words that i can say... starting to feel the stress and the difference being an adult.. as i get older.. i am having more responsibility and am expected to make the right decision...

i still miss the life being a child... y would i want to grow up when i'm young..? being a grown up is not as fun as carefree as a child.. now everyday i have to work.. only have a limited no. of leave and looking forward to the oncoming holidays... unlike a child... they have the whole school holiday, and even public holidays...

ARGHHHHHH..............

fine.. accept it... i'm always whining... dat's me... take it or leave it.. haha...

k... i love the song in my blog... fall for this song when i heard it the 2nd time... and i listen to this song everyday... haha... thanks to someone for introducing this song to me.. and thanks to someone who help me to add in the jukebox to my blog... thank you... ^v^

k le... need to do my IM le... tata~

2009-03-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

it's the start of the new hell week le... this week going to be hell for me... damn... so many things to do.. i've got 2 reports submission this friday!!! kaili bday celeb on fri as well... kelly bday celeb on sat... n i've lesson on sat...! wonder how am i going to survive this week... have to burn midnight oil for my reports... it's been going on for weeks le... i'm very tired le... need a break...

main exam is round the corner le... the timetable for exam is out... n its so packed...! i've 3 papers.. and it's continuously 3 days!!! fri, sat n sun... omg!!! wad a nice day combination.. how am i going to survive?? y cant it be alternate day?? gosh...

yst went drinking with jb they all... we went to crew room again.. haha... its always so memorable to go drinking wil jb... haha... it's the 3rd incident le... the first time went to crew room with jb i got drunk.. he had to carry me dwn the stairs n send me up home.. the second time meli gt drunk.. we have to look after her and bare her punches and cries.. this time.. haha... mx gt drunk.. seems like gg to knock out and all... well.. who will be nxt?? von?? haha... that is jb's plot le..

i totally knock out in cab yst.. after von alight.. i instructed the driver the route to my place.. and i slpt in cab.. totally dont knw the journey home... only till i receive a sms and woke up in time.. it was so near to my place already.. if i didnt receive any sms i think i will be somewhere i dont knw le ba... phew~ thanks for the sms...

still i dont want to face the reality that i have to go work n sch n projects... haha..

last fri, 1 of my bloody grp mates ask me if i've start with my individual assignment... she wants me to help her and all... i knw i'm selfish n all.. i just told her i have not done mine yet.. bt actually that is the fact larx... i have not start with the individual assignment yet.. i'm still doing another grp project... just nw.. her best friend who is one of my bloody grp mates asked me about the individual assignment as well le... damn.. want to free ride?? dont try it one me.. i'm once a free rider as well... n i'm gonna make u suffer... *evil me*

k le ba... after this sem i gonna rest well... am just too tired... i dont want to have any links and all with him le.. it's over... wake up and move on...

2009-03-20T00:19:00.002+08:00

finally complete my finance law report... phew~ but next wk will be hell le ba... gotta hand in 2 assignments... hw to complete?? really nd to burn midnight oil le... damn.. i'm so tired...

sianx... someone came back to look for me.. kinda sick of it.. got this feeling that he is up to some thing... something fishy.. if he really wanna salvage it will not be now le.. no no...

i have to be more hard hearted... yeah.. i can do it...

2009-03-17T21:37:00.003+08:00

ha... it takes so long to heal... but... there is not much signs of recovery... the slightest thing can affect me and trigger it... fang send me a link to view the mv of 明天以後[國] ... so nice... the lyrics... omg... so meaningful and haix... it get me thinking of ... haha...

just cant stop listening to it... haha... hmm... i don wan to think too much le larx... if not later i have no time and mood to do my project le... so CANNOT!!!

have to be happy... i'm a happy girl... i will be a happy girl... JIA YOU!!
i'm ok ppl... i shall be ok in no time... hopefully...

2009-03-16T10:56:00.002+08:00

dont really know what is wrong with me... it seems like everything goes the wrong way n direction... my brain n heart doesnt work at the same direction anymore... for the past few days i feel like running away... running out of the hse and hiding some where... but this will cause my parents to be worry for me...

think my tears glands are working too well recently... the slightest thing that happen can make me weep and breakdown... even watching perfect cut 2... i cant have such a thinking.. i nd to get my head out of those stupid emotion and settle down to do my projects...

tons of them.. it's pilling up n up... shorter time to complete.. bt my brain n heart doesnt allow me to run through my projects.. i've been slping a lot just to run away frm my thoughts.. bt.. life is so cruel.. i still have to face the reality and i cant be sleeping my time away just like that...

although i dont have mood swing every month.. please dont make it swing once every few months.. it is just too scary... i dont have the ability to handle it...
argh........

2009-03-14T02:04:00.002+08:00

it's always easy to say things than to perform the things that was said.. today is a rather emo day for me.. was talking to ppl regarding to r/s... i dont knw what i'm thinking... feeling to have 1.. bt don dare to allow 1.. contridicting... after so long... i jus found out that i cannot let go of my past... time heals all wound?... i doubt so... it's been so long.. bt it's not healing... i'm just avoiding it.. and not facing what i should face up with...

putting up an act and try convince myself that everything is alright... i'm happy.. i'm okay... is so hard... how can i let out my saddness and all whereby i dont have the time to cry.. and i'm not really allow to cry...? what i really want?..

there are things that cant be said.. nv been told... and will nv let out.. everyone is there happily attached and all.. and i still fear to have 1... but i still wish to have 1.. but there is no one..

i dont knw what i'm undergoing nw... guess the bottle is being filled up to the brim.. need to let out some in order to continue filling it up...

ppl ard me seems lesser n lesser... it seems like when they are facing problems then will they come back to look for u.. if they are happily living their life.. u are actually either forgotten or not as important.. nv will they ask for the reason.. nv will they try to find out on hw u feel and nv will they put themselves in ur shoe to think and feel for u.. well.. they didnt even to contact u.. y will they bother to care for ur feeling?... human are really selfish... they only think for themselves.. bt why m i so bothered about this matter?..

cos i'm a human as well.. i care too much on how i feel.. how others will feel... the yrs cannot compare to the partner... that is all i can say.. even when gg out with them it's always like "buy 1 get 1 free" kind of feeling.. n u are transparent... non existance..

dont ask me out if u don have the heart to care for my feeling.. dont do things jus to make urself happy whereby u already have someone to make u happy.. u have ppl to pamper on u doesnt mean that i have to pamper u as well..

forget it then... jus don cry to me when u have problems.. i dont think i nd to be there.. cos u are not there for me as well... it's jus tit for tat...

gd nitex~

2009-03-14T00:50:00.002+08:00

You are Red Tiger who is friendly and cheerful person. You tend to be straight forward, and are kind and generous to others. Generally speaking you are philanthropist, and you possess feminine attraction that makes men turn around.

When you are young, you have gentle and pure atmosphere, but as you get older, you start to show individuality. Your personality will turn into someone who likes taking care of people, tolerant, and bold.Unlike your friendly outlook, you have rational mind, and can even observe your parent objectively and coolly.

You don't like to be adventurous, and prefer to lead consistent life. But you hold great ideals.You don't try to act actively, and keeps your own pace. You are not influenced by emotions, and can live life with perseverance.

Your weakness is that you tend to be inconsistent and lack responsibility.You can stand on top of people and look after the others. You have great talent in making the atmosphere lively and cheerful. You dislike being given instructions and told what to do.

After getting married you will create a warm family, but you will still like to work outside too.

this is taken from Ai Li's facebook... dont feel like tagging ppl abt it.. but think it's rather true.. in some extend larx... here is the link: http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com

2009-03-12T15:59:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

got this website frm my friend's note: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

think it's half true half nt true ba... depend on how u look at it...

should i buy the HP notebook?... it's quite cheap now lehx... i sell away my current one and buy the new one only gotta add a few hundreds more only... think quite worth it ba.. should i?? or shouldn't i??

2009-03-11T01:55:00.002+08:00

hmm... just complete my part for my project presentation tml... feel so tired... really nd to rest after all these shit.. hope nxt sem will be better...

well.. was talking to someone this afternoon... but i still dont get the point as in y shld i be so entu. in finding a bf?... its nt as if i cant live my life without a guy... -_-" n he was telling me he is serious... hw on earth u wan me to believe when one side you say you like me and another side you say you like this girl and will do anything for her... please wake up...! what you really want..? think he is just being too desperate lorx... is it a must to have 1? wont i be happier to be alone rather than being with someone whom i dont really like etc?... i dont believe in love.. wat it actually means?...

had rather mixed feelings recently... every single thing come falling down to my shoulder.. be it work, sch, r/s, friend, family, etc... heavy... well... i did tot of wanting to have a bf... but is that what i really wnat?.. or is it the pressure that i'm facing?... if it's the pressure.. i think it wont be fair to the guy... so what is the point of rushing into a r/s just because you want a bf/gf?... i know some may not agree to what i say.. but i still stick to my stand... don't have much confidence in guys... dont have confidence in myself either...

well.. lets drop that topic ba...

think i blog on this before.... there is someone who drew a heart beside my signature in the attendance list... ya i said before.. bt yst i saw another heart on another signature... who the hell is that?... i dont seems to be able to figure it out... prob i should slowly trace on the pen ink... is the person too sick or does the person has nth to do.. or is it just a prank?... the classmates in monday class are more or less the same as wednesday class.. but i didnt see any of it on my wednesday class attendance... it seems so eriee and sick... who the hell is it?...
k le.. that is all for now ba.. go slp le.. left less than 5 hr of slp le.. nite nitex...

2009-03-07T00:24:00.002+08:00

argh.......!!! my piss-ness still does not end there... fuck..!

she finally reply me in msn... but she said she didnt received my email...! she didnt even bother to ask me for it and all... after that she said she just checked.. but dont have... and she said she is busy no time to check...

ok fine.. i know it's partially my fault too.. cos i missed out 1 alphabet in the email.. but she didnt even inform me... if i dont ask about it then we dont have to submit the assignment already lorx... after that i asked if she inform the lecturer.. she said no.. said she too busy.. dont have the lecturer's email n phone no... didnt she attend thurs lesson? she said she had lesson on thurs... if she had her lesson she should be able to inform the lecturer... but she didnt...! she also can ask us for the lecturer's email add.. as if none of us have it... even if we dont have.. we still can ask other friends... wad is the invention of phone??

busy is just an excuse.. everyone is busy... it is just how you manage your time.. nw we are really late in the submission le... super late... i really don know how to explain le... n the other 2 didnt even bother about it... FUCK!!!

2009-03-06T20:56:00.002+08:00

i damn freaking bloody pissed with dat fucking idiotic grp mate of mine!!!

damn... why on earth do i choose such a group member to work with...? it's already bad enough to re-do the project and submit it in.. but nw my damn bloody grp mate is nowhere to be found..! i've asked her at around 4 or 5+ about the project... once i msg her on msn.. she appeared to be busy/away... after dat at ard 6 or 7+ i msg her again.. n the same thing happened... i just msg her in msn again... but she yet to reply me... wonder had she submit in... but at this time she is still online... haha.. i doubt so le.. they are just pushing me to my limit...

in the first place, i quite respect her for she is able to work, look after her daughter and sch... but nw.. i'm not sure le... feel so pissed.. n none of the other grp mates bother to ask abt this submission.. try to just free-ride? no way.. i'm not going to let it happen... jus keep a look out on what i will do once this whole project is completed!... if u dont fail ur project.. i will make sure u fail.. damn...

guess wad?... i'm still in office at this time... hoping everything is going on well... if not wont be able to meet customer's dateline... tml still gotta come back to office after my lesson.. and send the thing to my customer... suppose to go for movie with mx they all de.. but end up i gotta OT at the eleventh hour.. guess u all will be thinking how come i gotta OT and i still can use the computer to blog... haha.. the reason is that i gotta wait for my production side to feedback if everything is ok... so i'm rather free nw... wanna to go off de... but i'm not sure everything is right mahx.. so dont really dare...

later go meet them for dinner/supper le ba.. tml morning dunno can wake up mahx... hope i can ba.. i gotta stay up late to study for IM test which is on sunday morning... will go home and knock out immediately after the paper... haha...

k le ba.. that is all for now le.. gonna call them see if everything is done correctly.. so i can go off.. feel so bad to let mx they all wait for so long.. since ard 7 till now le.. later gonna cab dwn.. anyway it is to be claimed by the company.. haha... tata~

2009-03-02T12:16:00.004+08:00

finally... i'm a little little free... manage to post something in blog... it's be so long since i last blog... was too busy with sch work le... presentation n report.. having too much burden le... manage to take a rest during weekend..

well... went to watch Slumdog Millionnaire... hmm... my comments... haha.. its not as good as wad i've expected... my expectation is so much higher than what i received... but guess the reson for the porpularity of this show is due to bollywood issue ba.. current trend is gg into bollywood le.. but the best part i like is the end.. cos they still include the indian culture by having indian dance at the end of the show...

went to clubbing on that day itself... i like the songs that night.. but i dont seems to really enjoy it.. it doesn't really relief my stress.. prob is that i'm too too stress le ba.. as we get older.. the type of stress and the things to handle are more.. everyone is different.. and that it's so hard to know what others are thinking and all... well.. that night i saw someone like WY.. i'm sure it's not him.. cos the looks are totally different.. jus that the kind of feeling.. the way he dress and the image he potrays resemble WY... i remember clearly that that guy wore a remona top.. haha.. same as WY - branded outfit...

last week i've really spend every single bit of my time to do my project.. during office hr.. before bed.. so tired.. really regret to be in the same grp as them.. even JH wonder why.. but i've got no choice le.. have to accept the fact that they are my grp mates.. i still nd to pass and get my certificate.. dont want them to be the obstruction.. i can do it on my own as well.. and i'm gonna mark them down for sure.. don push over my limit...

work wise... haix.. politics and politics... y does ppl think that when someone does a thing is cos of certain motives? y i cant be a normal kind gesture.. y does ppl think its due to motive?? for what i think is that she did it cos i'm like a daughter to her or so... but y will others think that she did it cos i'm directly under the boss.. so she has to be good to me in order to 'bootlick' the boss.. the human mind is really unpredictable and scary...

feeling so tired in competing with human mind... feel like getting someone or something to dependent on... dont feel like facing sure things le.. but i know this is impossible.. i have to face the reality that it's a matter of life.. Anil told us this statement that he likes during class, "life without struggle is life of a living corpse" which means life will be boring and meaningless if there is no problems and struggles...
hmm... jia you ba... everything will be fine soon.. the economic downturn will improve and pick up to the previous times...

2009-02-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

i'm so pissed and shocked... after i start my uni... this is my first time i fail a group project assignment... i've told myself that i will not and do not want to fail any assignment.. and i failed this time round... and what constitute to it?... is the best group mates that i got... not to totally push the blame to them... i'm at fault too... my part may not be totally complete and best of it... but at least what it's needed is in it... but not them...

now will have to redo it le... need to hand in on 2nd march... haix... hw to do?? have to stay up every night le.. they didn't even go for lesson and all... think i have to rely on myself le.. i can do it... and next thing to do is to mark them down... hahaha... have to... i dont want my effort to waste away... it's not worth it..

hahah... managed to talk to shuan and wilson today... after so long... well.. i do talk to wilson one.. but is my first time talking to shuan... hmm.. maybe it will be a good start.. wahhaha... and he dont look so short le.. still a little taller den me.. haha.. at least i wear heels he still taller..

i found out something... some one drew a heart using pen beside my name in the attendance list... when i first sign my attendance there wasn't any of it.. bt when i were to sign for my group mates.. i saw it... dunno who the hell do that...

guess my workload gonna increase le... so stress... 1 day only can slp for 5hr le ba... sianx...

2009-02-15T21:29:00.007+08:00

Had a wonderful day... thanks everyone...

hmm... went to von hse for lunch... but everyone was late except mx... haha... by right we meet at 2.. bt end up reach von's place at ard 3+ le... super late lunch... had pizza, prawn and salad for lunch... super nice... and dessert to wrap up the whole lunch.. so touching...

i never expect both von n meli will do much for us... meli bake muffin... but she also got bake for her bf.. so haha... while von.. hmm... she did a lot le.. she fold the roses and prepare all the food and dessert... omg.. while me n mx only share and bought them gift... cos we tot they have bf le.. so dont need so much attention... but.. guess we are wrong... they still give us so many things... haix.. have to wait for next year to compensate le.. haha...

well... went to kbox buffet dinner with wk n steph after dat... in total there are 4 of us... but we got a super big room.. which can hold up to 10 ppl or more... haha... dont really have enough time to finish singing the songs.. think dat day is we too high le.. so all songs are nice and worth the sing... gave wk his present.. haha.. and he is shocked.. cos i bought a bear with heart on it.. and.. .haha... this is the first time he receive bear... haha.. well.. everything has it's first time i suppose... haha... n gave steph a small gift as well... hmm... suddenly feel emo when i start to sing.. the first song.. by jolin... 'jia zhuang' hmm... almost burst into tears.. but.. i didnt! heex...

after dat we went to DXO.. on the way we saw meli n her bf... haha... well.. guess i shld omit the comment on him.. haha... had great time there... drank a lot cos it's free flow.. haha... and wan steph to dance.. haha.. so hav to make her high... and i accompany her to finish the drink at 1 short.. haha... but.. we still prefer st james.. prob will have to wait for another time le.. and to make steph dance.. =p haha...

here comes the random one... hmm.. he did msg me happy v day... which i tot he wont.. but.. he added lol behind.. haha... cos it's already the end le.. and he stil wish me.. really nd to laugh out loud... hahaa...

really touch with the present i had received... frm mx... so nice... and the letter/card.. haha... thanks girl.. i really enjoy myself on that day... it's great to have you all.. life will be meaning-less without u all le..

k le o.. need to go do my project again le.. happy day/night... ^_^

2009-02-14T01:05:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

it's v day le... so fast... time flies... i still miss the presence... wonder will i receive any txt from... have yet to check my hp... every yr will receive at around 12midnight... but i guess this yr may not le.. it's already over...

will be gg out tml... with my friends...

guess it's all le ba... i also dunno wan to write wad le... have lots of things in mind.. but cant manage to put them in words and all... shall save it and go to bed... feeling drowsy after taking the med... tata~

2009-02-10T12:13:00.002+08:00

every company seems to have its own politics... and i'm in one of them... i'm so pissed with it.. having to work in a small company with a total head count of less than 20 but the level of politic is like more than 50% !!! really cannot take it.. wth do they wan?? they just merely bootlicking... only listen to the one with authority... and that person want us to take charge in certain things.. but.. in the end... those bootlickers don give a damn on anything only concentrate on bootlicking and messing up the whole schedule and procedures...

the whole company became so hard to handle just because of the presence of 2 so-called useless chaps.. i dont say that i'm useful... just that i'm not that useless... after working for abt to a yr.. they still cant function well and excel in their job... still have to help them and clear the shit for them... with these 2 additional ppl.. everyone got scolded on the first few wk of the work till now...

argh..... relax... relax...

thinking of the incident still makes me mad... i just cant 'put out the fire'...!

ok... well... just got too many things to do on hand... too huge workload.. on hand with 4 reports - 2 individual and 2 group... taking 3 modules this sem... term test round the corner... products submission due-ing every now and then... stress...

k le.. not much things to write about le... the more i blog.. the more pissed i am... tata~

2009-02-07T00:49:00.003+08:00

Finally have the time to do a small research on the pain that i'm sufferring... rmb the doc say something 'splint' or wadever de.. so i went to research on that... and this is wad i had...

*Shin splints can be caused by sudden increases in mileage, walking uphill, overtraining, walking faster than normal, jumping, running stairs, or just too much distance.* haha... i did those during cny...

now i know why i will have such problem le... walked too much.. [increase in mileage], walked too fast at times.. [walking faster than normal], walk to mx n maree hse.. [walking uphill], haha... mainly these i think...

now i've suffered a week le.. and it dont seems to be getting better... tot i'm fine after my mc... but when i started to go to work.. the pain returns... cos i have to walk quite a distance to the bus stop and to my office.. till now.. the pain is still on and off.. dunno when will recover... think should start to train back le... after i recover from shin splint.. hope i get well soon.. cos stil nd to go sch also... will walk even more...

2009-02-03T18:45:00.003+08:00

hmm... went to see doc le... doc says i walk too much.. haha... wear too much heels.. strained my muscle.. haha.. that is why will hurt so badly... wasted my money.. haha.. but at least i wont have to worry that much le.. haha... gotta wait till my leg recover and.. haha... i can go chiong-ing again...

got this done not long ago.. haha.. after my visit to the doc... kinda bored and reluctant to do my project.. keep on procrestinating.. haha... dat is so wrong... gotta start doing it soon.. if nt i have to submit it on friday le.. haha... well.. these are some pix that are taken recently... well... at least is within the 3 mths... haha... nt very perfect.. bt still acceptable ba..

k ba.. don think will ctn blogging much le.. shall go have my dinner first den start with my project.. hopefully.. haha... will update more soon ba...

2009-02-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

had my first day at work after the long break... had quite a lot of thing to do... cos of the long break.. but everything is still going well...

tml gg to be on mc le... leg pain... it's been few days le.. and it's getting from bad to worst... dont knw what's wrong... bare able to walk... super pain... wonder how will my leg feels tml... yst still can walk... bt today esp at night... it's too pain for me to walk le... just the stretching action is super pain le... don't knw hw will it goes tml le.. hopefully it's the same as before... infection... nth much... i dont want it to be anything more... scared...

tml i can do my project at home le... not that i go 'geng' mc just to do project... but i really need to see doc... at the same time i can do my project... it's like killing 2 birds with a stone... haha...

k le.. don say much le... tml see le doc den see hw ba... tata~

2009-01-30T18:09:00.003+08:00

it's friday... so fast... been going out these few days... really don wanna go back to work le... how i wish i can enjoy myself more... have to go back to work and sch on monday le.. have not started on my project... haha... gosh... dunno when i will start.. haha...

went to steamboat with wk, steph n von... haha.. not bad lar... bt i'm deprived on veg... so mainly eat veg... haha.. super full dat day... keep on having steamboat.. cos it's cny.. no choice.. after that we went to liquid kitchen at serangoon... hmm... not bad worx... quite relaxing... each drank different drink... me of course is my all time fav... long island tea... wanna try the graveyard de... but don really have the courage to try... cos don wanna to get myself drunk.. although i've tried it before... and i'm perfectly alright... but dat day i don really hav enough slp.. think i drink graveyard i will really be digging my grave le.. opps.. haha...

the bigger cup is mine... the other one is wk's johnnie walker with coke... haha... think he love it...

went to dbl o on wed... the gal/ladies nite... well... reach there quite early.. ard 10+ ba.. cab dwn after i won mj at maree's place... haha... got myself high dat day... not really clear of wad i'm doing in the dance floor... gosh.. but lucky thing is that... everything seems to be alright... mx is rather high as well... end up both of us cant look after each other... =p

went back at ard 3... manage to be awake and clear... went back with mx... haha.. and i totally cant slp when i reach hm... woke up early nxt day and went shopping the whole day with veron n kelly... shopped the whole vivo and harbourfront... came back empty handed as i dont intend to buy anything.. haha... went to yx place to bai nian.. and torture maree... shaving off her leg hair... haha... super funny.. seeing her scream... had a great time ba these few days...

hmm... maybe will stay at hm tonight ba... to rest or wad... tml still gg out le... kk... dat is all for these few days de update... tata...

2009-01-27T00:35:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

it's now the start of the 2nd day of CNY le... so so fast... was counting dwn the other day... n nw... it's new yr... didnt really take photos recently... kinda wasted...

went to clubbing on sat with wk n his friends... kelly n jj n jj's friends... mx n von... i can deduce that SG is real small.. haha... to think jj's camp mate is jb's sec sch friend and also wk's friend former ocs training mate... it's so linked.. small small world... wk's friends r real shy.. jj's friends are shy too... only wk nt so... maybe is cos we know each other le ba... that is the reason... should have taken photos.. haha... the best part is that i dropped my phone on the cab.. thank god mx is still on the cab... and she help me to bring home my phone...

woke up early on sun... only slept a few hrs... have to prepare to pray n all de.. den my uncle send me to mx hse to collect my phone le... came back for lunch... haix.. actually wanna slp de.. but i didnt manage to slp... went out in the evening for reunion dinner with my relatives and mj... haha.. den went out with mama till 3 den reach home le...

woke up as early on the 1st day of new yr... went out for the whole day...! played mj at my granduncle's place.. and won... amazingly... haha... and is ard 20 bucks... it's been so long since i last won so much money... well... nth interesting today.. only that when i was helping my sis to tie her hair... my nail polish just came off... it seems like i put on fake nail... cos the whole thing came out.. i have to look for glue and nail polish to put it back... haha... funny...

k le lo... await for the next day... needa go slp le... super duper tired... been having headache these few days...

2009-01-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

Counting down to CNY... haha... not long ago i've just celebrated Christmas... then New Yr... and now... CNY is round the corner... how fast can that be... after this holiday i will not have anymore holiday le ba... have to wait for the next one which is during april... so long... cant wait for CNY to come... but this also means that after it will be the end of my holiday... i'm just so contridicting.. haha...

so tired and busy recently... i really cannot survive slping 6hrs of slp... it will kill me... i'm seriously deprive of sleep... was late for work everyday... how to wake up early and reach office early whereby i'm so used to waking up late?... i really need help for this man... my eyes always seems to be closing... i need a toothpick... haha...

have no idea on what i shld blog abt le... haha... cya~

2009-01-18T01:03:00.002+08:00

time flies... it's gg to be cny soon le... but i don think i can really enjoy this new yr... so many things had happened... another relative of mine passed away le.. yst... haix... den mama toe injured cos she accidentally kicked on the steps... well... hope things will be better ba...

enough of that... let us have some happy stuff...

went to watch [The Women] with my pri sch friends... it is better than what i expect it to be... it's about friendship... the friendship of 4 ladies... haha.. just nice 4 of us watch tgt as well... i like that show.. it is meaningfull... how friends back each other up when they are facing problems... hw they are there for each other... it just made me cry.. although it is a happy ending... but i'm still touch by it... till now i still remember the show clearly... didnt regret watching it.. haha...

wanted to buy a bag... but those design that i want are branded bag... nt willing to spend such amt... but i still like it.. hw hw hw?... well.. guess i will wait till i find the right bag that i want den buy ba.. saw a lot of bags these few days.. but some are too small.. some are not the colour that i want.. shall save up the money first.. den buy the best on that i like.. hehex...

school start this wk le.. will be so tired... have 2 projects on hand.. and 1 essay... hope i can make it ba.. so nxt sem will be easier.. cos left with mainly calculating work to do.. which is finance.. haha... jia you le o..

2009-01-14T15:10:00.003+08:00

i'm so tired... feel like sleeping... think this week is a tough week for me le... been feeling tired recently... went home at ard 11 but went to bed at 12... gosh... n i have to wake up early today.. cos having lesson tonight... will be gg clubbing with my pri sch friend le... think ard 3+ den will reach home le ba... n tml will be another long day for me... have to reach office early.. have to attend meeting.. have to go for lesson... really feel like taking leave on fri le... to rest n slp... all events have already been plan till cny le...

have not buy my clothes n cny stuff yet... dunno when i can go buy them... tired tired... guess it's only this mth ba.. nxt mth will concentrate on my studies... i hope so...

jia you ba...

2009-01-11T04:29:00.002+08:00

haix... so so many things happen today... wad a day.. had so many first time experience... well.. where shld i start with?...

First thing that happen is that.. i FELL on the ROAD!!! wtf... this is my first time sia... was crossing the road some where near esplanade... it was clear of cars... but one of my friends keep on asking us to run... my meli pull me to run... i lost my balance n fell on the road... damn.. so paisei... was in front of most of my poly friends.. it was a small gathering... well.. she tried to pull me up.. but just as i want to regain my balance.. she just dragged me.. haha.. i know she is trying to pull me to the side to avoid the cars... well.. i don blame her larx.. my knee cap was wounded... this cny will be so ugly le.. haha.. hope it will recover by then...

Next is that.. meli got drunk... i should have discover that something is wrong with her when she told me that she feel like drinking... so dumb of me... she will not tell me that if nth is wrong with her de.. hw come i cant discover it??? we went to DXO and meli just keep drinking... got herself drunk.. we have to look after her and all de... she cried several times as well... didnt manage to dig out anything from her.. but i know that something is real wrong le... we guess the culprit is that guy... feeling so helpless... only can see her cry...

Lastly is about the road block... this is my first time experiencing road block.. i think the policeman must have saw the 3 of us at the back seat... when we wind down the window... the smell of alcohol just gush out... haha...

mr. policeman: "where u guys come from?"

dave: "esplande"

mr. policeman: "please park ur car behind us"

dave: "ok"

mr. policeman: "can i have ur id/s?"

us: "nah"

mr. policeman: "dont mind can you all get out of the car and stand by the road side?"

us: "wa lau"

so they just do their checking and verification on the id...

by right, dave should be checked on his alcohol level... but the "instrument" is in another car... so.. haha.. don need le.. cos the car have to go chase after another car that speed by... thank god.. and we can safely go home without checking...

this is my first experience... usually the policeman will see and ask us to go de... this is the first time we have to get out of the car to check and all...

it's just the beginning of the year.. and so many things had happened within a few hours... it's not even a day... omg... may good luck be with us... no more such things le ba.. please please...

k le.. gotta go slp le.. damn tired and pain.. haha...

2009-01-10T03:22:00.005+08:00

finally change my blogskin... it takes me like more than 4 hours to do so... i'm just a com idiot.. haha.. cant blame me for that.. i really have no idea of how to do it well... please kindly enlighten me..

despite the long hours... i have yet to complete every single bit of changes... well.. those who wants to view the previous entries... sorry.. but you would have to strain your eyes for it le..

i'm still figuring out how to fully beautify the whole blog.. but due to time constrain and all... i think i will leave it lidat ba.. really very tired and wanna slp le... well.. i will try to change it asap...

tata...

2009-01-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

hmm... i'm not sure is this workable... let's try..

2009-01-09T14:49:00.013+08:00

finally went to K Box with fang le.. haha... so fun.. sang till our throat sore.. terrible... the last time i went kbox with her is on her bday celebration... that is like super long le..

i dunno will this person read my blog.. but i think he does.. well.. he asked if he were to say that he like me will i accept or give him a chance... i am very clear with my ans.. and it's no... there are a lot of reasons for me to say no..

i don't want to let the history repeat
i am not ready for any commitment
i don't really want to lose my freedom
i don't want to hurt u
u are too good for me
we may not think alike
u are of the same age as me
u seem to be too vulnarable
i'm not someone who is worth for u
i just love myself more
i may end up doing lots of things that will hurt u
and the list goes on...

i'm not sure what others will think when i list down all these reasons... but i just think that i'm not ready to accept ur love and all... i know that in a r/s either party will be giving more than the other.. but it will be a struggle for him.. cos i have no feeling for him and that to try to fall for him is a torture for both... i can try... but a part of me still want to play and all.. n him on the other hand will have to let me out to play or what... seeing own gf with other guy i think it's a torture... esp for ppl who are more emo or what de...

once i've set my thinking on certain issue there wont be room for negotiation... altought i know i will make the wrong decision at time.. i know i need someone who can look after me... i know i need a lot of things.. but i don't want to force things to happen..

well... i still think that we are better of as friends... it will be easier for communication... i'm not someone who will really go for looks but will go for height and feeling... if i wont really able to share my thinking and problems with the person... i guess i'm not comfortable in doing so at all... to me this is a very important issue... cos this is wad i m in the past r/s... which is not a healthy one.. i don't want history to repeat..

the past is just like a nightmare for me.. i want to walk out of the nightmare... i don't want to be idling around in it.. it's really very hard on me during those days.. and i don't want anyone to experience it because of me... and i don't want to be the one who is like my ex...

nonono... it's not the way i want.. i'm still happy with wad i m and what i have now... i don't want to change my current status and all... i will consider gg into a r/s when i feel that there person is the one that i'm comfortable with... and m happy to be with... but now i've yet to come across one...

so why rush into a r/s that may or may not work out?... just wait patiently and soon the one will appear...

*i'm sorry if i've hurt u or so... but seriously i'm not ready yet...*

2009-01-07T23:08:00.002+08:00

super tired today... keep dreaming of a lot of things... dunno why will this happen... i need quality slp.. nd to slp... don't want to dream during weekdays.. i don mind weekends...

after reading kelly's blog and say the word sashimi.. i suddenly have the crave for sashimi... asked my friends out for dinner at suki sushi.. well.. it's nt a bad place for sushi buffet.. sashimi is under the menu for buffet.. so.. haha.. it is worth it.. had 2.5 plates of salmon sashimi.. the price quite worth it ba.. nxt time can still go.. super full and bloated nw..

did a very stupid thing jus now.. haha.. but it's nt the first time le.. went out at the wrong floor when taking lift home.. so stupid.. walked out.. feeling the place is so different.. den notice what is wrong.. haha.. went in the lift and continue taking it up.. duh.. so dumb..

been listening to this song.. felt its super nice and sweet.. it's Taylor Swift - Love Story...

nice nice... haha...

will be getting my results soon le.. but dunno when... think is this week ba... pray hard.. hope everything will be alright ba..

*you be the price and i be the princess*

2009-01-06T15:16:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired and slpy.. wanna doze off in office le.. bt a lot ppl walking around.. i cant... although manager is not in.. hah.. didnt reali have gd night slp.. keep on dreaming... didnt slp well...

even nw i'm updating my blog i still feel super duper slpy... cant stand... everyone pls go off so i can take a nap for a while.. super tired.. headahce and all... cant get catch frm ppl for slping...

*quick quick go off..*

2009-01-05T22:48:00.002+08:00

suddenly got feel for this song... after fang told me abt her friend's incident.. which is rather similiar to mine.. having a bf who always say he is nt free.. nv have the time to meet.. usually once a mth or every 2-3wks.. forgetting birthday.. gg malaysia bt actually in sg.. caught lying but try to cover and feels panic... i tot i'm the only one who is so unlucky.. bt there actually is someone sharing the same fate as me...

i would like to delicate this song to that someone.. both are heading diff direction and what is said before may no longer be there... 一路把过去甩掉忘了曾经说过要一起到老

2009-01-05T16:00:00.002+08:00

guess who is this in the pic... haha... it's dark i know... but if u see clearly or wad.. u will know who le.. but not everyone know this person... haha.. happy guessing...

boring day in work... i just found out something.. and it's like.. wow... my manager has 93.5days of leave to clear... and these amt of leave does not include this year's leave... omy... he will have to take 2 days everyweek / full 5 mths / even everyday work half day just to clear the leaves...

so envy him... i want... he says if my another manager allows he don mind contributing 3.5days of his leave to me... haha.. i really need those leave sia.. need it for my studies... my exams and my projects...

well.. guess i'm really very lazy le.. if u wan to view the pics the i refer from the below post.. please kindly go facebook to see.. hahaha... sorry arx...

2009-01-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

i'm so lazy.. lazy to upload... wait til i'm not so lazy den upload the photos ba..

end up went to Phuture with wk, kelly, val, wc n the rest... trying nt to cry when waiting for wk n gf to arrive.. but still.. like i say.. my eyes are like tap.. once i went in to Phuture.. not long after that.. i cried.. and it's none stop.. the tears jus roll down like nobody's business... drank a little.. n kelly gt drunk.. faint...

left me n wk n the rest in the club... they are not really my type in club.. don reali knw hw to dance with them.. haha.. n wk have to dance with his gf cos she sticks to him... left me alone...

but.. lucky thing is that i saw someone familiar in there..guess who.. haha.. its han sheng... wow.. it's like almost 3 yrs since i last saw him.. he didnt change much...end up dance with him.. if nt i will be bored to death in the club... his friends are damn hot.. haha.. and passionate.. bt quite gd looking n tall larx... nt bad lo.. but too bad.. he is taken.. only available in club.. haha..

quite nice of him to send me home.. cos wk have to go off early cos of his gf.. sad.. den hs send me home.. super shag... cos have not really have enough rest cos of the countdown party and nw year gathering with pri sch friends.. went out with mx on sat... tired..

tml have to work again le.. sadded... tata...

2009-01-01T23:17:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

this is a brand new year le... my new year resolution... hahah... not to let the history repeat.. have to learn my lesson.. no more flings... 2008 is over.. now is 2009 le.. new things...

i had so much fun this year... i believe this will be a better year than before...! went to siloso beach to countdown.. this is a good experience... have to try it once in a lifetime... ya i know there are lots of ppl.. but.. its really enjoyable.. the ppl there are so high.. yx is extra high as well.. haha... the fireworks super nice... looking into the sky at the beach.. it's like having fireworks above your head.. wow.. like it..

the 987 DJs are there... and Shan was there too... haha.. he is so tall... there are diff genre of music.. but i still like R&B.. really dont know how to dance when it was trance.. techno.. electro.. etc... haha.. the whole thing is so grand.. and there really got a lot of ppl.. mx n i found out that we still prefer to dance.. haha... but only R&B music.. fun.. it's been so long since we enjoy clubbing/party again... haha..

when we plan to set back home its a torture... we have to walk all the way out.. it's so so far... after walking on the sand.. dancing on the sand.. it requires more strength and all.. my legs now are super tired and my back is aching.. haha.. gosh.. we set out at 3+ and reach harbour front int at 4.30... we had our supper/breakfast at the hawker there till 5+ in the morning... wanted to take cab home.. but there are lots of ppl.. end up we have to on-call cab... haix...

this afternoon have to meet my pri sch friends... its pot luck.. n i brought fruit salad.. i'm super lazy and tired to go out.. end up took cab over.. haha.. they were playing twister when i reach.. haha... its so funny.. the guys are all tangled up.. poor thing.. had so much laughters... had our dinner by the pool.. everyone is so fun.. disturbing each and everyone.. its just like during pri sch days..

we gt yx vodlka to drink.. cos everyone wants to see her high high look.. and how quick she can get drunk and high.. and as per expected.. she is high after finishing a cup.. haha.. nw everyone knows the limit of yx alcohol.. haha.. we were den playing with sparkers.. and using it to write 2009.. and we managed to do it.. haha.. see when can post it for u guys to see.. haah...

as usual.. this time round we dump wz into the pool... and wz pull maree into the pool.. and the last one is thiong.. hahah... fun fun fun..

will be having more party.. tml may be gg to the arena with wk and the rest.. haix.. i'm so tired now.. wanna rest.. but think will be after this wk le.. sat gg for movie with mx.. den sun gotta go to my god-grandma place.. haha.. busy lo.. but have to larx.. cos nxt time wont be able to go out so often le.. lesson starting soon..
k le.. this is my first post of the year.. guess it is long enough le.. will pos the pictures some other day.. kinda lazy le.. hehe.. wish everyone all the best in this year...

*await for the brand new me*

2008-12-31T11:19:00.002+08:00

it's New Year Eve...!!! haha... a new start soon...

2008 is rather a bad year ba... so many things happen.. have to fan xing... everything is so terrible... broke up with R... screwed up myself... depliting of health... on n off mood swing... keep on falling sick and so on...

well.. have to really start to study and get good result for the year 2009 le.. this is a must sia... i want to put everything to a stop on 2008... don wan to screw up myself and my life le.. no more... have to wake up..

next year will be a busy year... cant tired myself up... have to complete my degree.. get my degree... this is the most important thing to do le..

other thing like mood swing and all cant be help ba... jiu jia you lo.. looking back at 2008 haix... i'm such a failure.. fail in everything... have to wake up and be myself le...

gosh... feel like crying again... my eyes are like tap.. haha... well.. think i will be ok ba...

may everything goes smoothly in the year 2009 ...

2008-12-29T12:01:00.003+08:00

so so tired... went for Maree's bbq on sat... it was a fun one.. haha... feels that i seems to know a lot of ppl... scary.. i'm her pri sch friend... n i know her sec sch friend.. who is my poly friend... i know her poly friends... and even know her bf's friends... wa... haha...

it's so fun there... disturbing the guys... and friends' bf... haha... poor minghao... keep on got bully by me.. i asked him to bbq the food.. den complain abt the food... cos it's 'chow tar' haha.. keep on scolding yx bf.. haah.. and scream at maree's bf... opps.. poor tim have to stay there to bbq for everyone...

went up to exchange our x'mas gift with the pri sch friends.. and called up samuel to write for maree's card.. was disturbing him by asking him to report to chalet at 8am the next day after his duty.. but he was saying he wil be dead beat den he said he will report to me after his duty den... haha.. he was just laming... i keep on disturb him saying to throw him into the pool again.. our main target.. poor him...

well... i'm so tired dat day... i slpt the whole sunday away... woke up at 10pm for dinner den slp at 1am... haha.. i'm a real pig sia... opps... guess i will post the photos only after they upload it to the com ba... happy waiting.. haha..

2008-12-26T01:47:00.003+08:00

Merry X'mas...

enjoy myself during christmas eve and day... although i wasn't feeling happy those days.. but i still did enjoy myself... went to mx hse during christmas eve.. had dinner and dessert.. went out for movie after countdown.. to amk hub.. watched 'yes man'... it's so funny and rather meaningful.. say 'yes' only when u think of doing it... saying 'yes' will open opportunities for you.. but do not say 'yes' to things that you do not want to do...

after movie we went to McDonald's to exchange our present... haha...

this is what i got from the girls.. it's the individual presents that we give each other.. opps.. i've missed out meli's christmas hat.. haha... well.. i got a nail polish and a 'mouse rest' from wq.. thanks... had so much fun in Mc... we were then rotting till 5.30a.m. to catch the first train/bus home... i reached home at about 6.30a.m...!

went to bed once i got change.. just in case mama catch me reaching home so late.. haha.. no choice.. woke up at ard 3.30p.m. when maree call.. haha... too tired le.. got prepare and meet them at far east... have to acc maree to do manicure and pedicure... well.. it was actually nt that bad lar... haha.. we went out as a grp... maree with her bf.. yx with her bf.. me.. and tim... orchard is real crowded... terrible.. after our dinner we walk to mrt to take train home.. along the way.. we saw ppl removing the deco for Christmas.. that is like so fast... it's nt yet midnight and the deco had to be removed... efficient.. haha...

tml meeting mx for shopping.. yeah... can buy new clothes, shoes, and all... i'm nw so looking forward to maree's bbq le.. hah... this sat.. it sure will be fun and enjoyable...

hope my emo-ness can go off quickly.. don always so emo le.. think i have to keep busy and all to make myself feel happy and numb myself from all the troubles and thoughts... but.. hw long can i decive myself?...

now.. look forward to the next year!!!... haha...

2008-12-23T12:38:00.002+08:00

thank u ppl... i'm feeling better le.. christmas is round the corner... but don really have the christmas mood.. even though i still have to shop for christmas presents... haha... today is the last day for me to buy for the girls le..

meeting them tml... everything has to be completed... my christmas card is still have way through only.. wow.. guess i have to stay up late to complete it le.. tml still gotta work.. dunno is there half day mahx... if so i can go home rest before i go out... it will be a tiring week for me...

on 25 will be going out with maree to do manicure and pedicure... it's like around half a year since i last had my nails done.. haha.. i think i sounds like a bimbo.. but bimbo are for ppl who are pretty and give superb figure de.. but i'm not worx... so cant classify as bimbo... prob can be classified as dumb ba..? cos of brainless...
i have no mood to work now... so in holiday mood... my brain has nothing but presents and the next few days outting and event... lalala~

but another sad thing is that... recently there is this mediacorp artist who suffers from MD... come to think of it.. i had this grand aunt who suffers from MD and she passed away due to it... kinda sad... there is really no cure for this kind of disorder... the prevention may not even come in handy... was rather worried for myself as well... i'm still young.. there are lots of things that i have not done...

my christmas wish to santa... "i just wish my health maintain as it is and everyone is healthy as well" thank you santa.. may my wish come true...

sorry.. i'm kinda random... a while happy... a while sad... a while emo... well... i have a rather mixed feeling... don know which one it is.. let us drop the sad event and be happy ba...

*live life to the fullest*

2008-12-21T04:16:00.003+08:00

finally manage to burst into tears... after so long.. think should be few months le.. my tears just roll down when i meet maree, tim and wz at night..

when i saw them.. it only took me few mins to burst into tears.. there are to many mixed feelings that are hard for me to explain.. maree and tim were pressing me for the reason to cry.. but i just cant really say it out.. too many things come together.. too many upsetting moments and memories just keep on screening in my head.. i just cant get it out of my mind..

after that, i feel so much better... guess i've shocked them... it's been so long since they last seen me cry.. esp maree.. part of the reason for me to cry is because i'm touched by them.. they are so sweet... althought it is jus a simple act.. but it's enough to touch me...

when heading back home.. i heard the song "because of you" by Kelly Clarkson... it's so... nah.. i don't knw hw to put it in words.. it just bring the flashes of the past up.. every single event seems to just flash through... and i just cant stop it.... i'm feeling so incomplete.. feeling so empty... with all my busy schedules i am still able to surpress all those negative feelings... but i guess by surpressing it will me make feel worst..
i just dont knw hw to relief such a feeling.. everything dont seems to be helpful for me.. cherish my friends and the time i have.. this is the most important thing that i need to do now...

here is the mv to the song.. but i cant put the video in.. jus follow the web: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/3HhosJRn0I8/ ba... this is an old song.. everyone will have heard it.. but i still like it.. it's just so meaningful...

last bt nt least.. thank you ppl... i will be stronger..

2008-12-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

had so much fun yst... took half day leave and went to ECP... wow.. it's fun... i've learnt my lesson after gg to ecp for like 4 times?... always fall when i go there to cycle... when i told my colleague that i gg to ecp.. her first reaction is.. "don fall horx..." haha~ funny... i didnt fall yst.. we rented 2 bicycles at $12 for 3hr.. haha.. think the uncle know us le... that is why..

my legs are so tired... my back as well... end up we decided to pamper ourselves by eating buffet steamboat.. although the food is limited.. but it's still better den nth...

one of my friends is reading the book "men are from mars and women are from venus" and she told us this phrase...

"men are motivated when they feel needed... women are motivated when they feel cherished..."
which is quite true to a certain extend... a man will start to fall for a lady when he feels that he is a man of the lady.. he has a need to protect and look after the lady... while a woman will start to fall for a man when she feels taht he does cherish her and make her as someone impt to him... interesting rite.. shld go read the book.. but i'm just too lazy.. maybe someone can read it and summarize it for me.. haha...

was sms-ing samuel the day before.. and debating about being guai... i keep on teasing him of being a bad boy.. and he keep on fighting back that he is gd.. we came to a conclusion that he is not that bad... haah.. with rooms of improvement... and he says that i'm a nice girl.. haha... so nice of him to say that... but.. haha.. he said that cos that is the only thing he can say to a girl.. hah... well.. to conclude it.. i still think that he is quite a nice and gd guy larx.. a gd catch for singles.. haha... who wanna know him can let me know.. i try to intro.. nt bad looking also larx.. haha..

*i wanna watch my twilight*

2008-12-18T10:24:00.002+08:00

well.. R came to look for me in msn yst afternoon... our conversation were quite formal kind... he was asking how am i.. how's my exam and all... guess he already knw my intention on the break up le.. cos he was asking if i still go clubbing and all.. so my reply was 'yes'... next he ask if i got pick up by guys.. and i replied him 'yes'... after that he was asking how frequent is it.. so i replied him 'everytime'... and the very last question he asked was who am i with now.. so i replied him 'no one'... my replies to his questions are all one word kind... it's very obvious le ba..

i don't knw what he wants... he was asking me to take care of myself when i go clubbing and all.. don do the wrong thing.. den he ask if i'm gg home yet.. and next he said.. "all in all i jus want to say miss u"... guess it is too late to realise it le ba..

i only reply his first 2 questions and avoid replying the last one... well.. the last thing he said to me on msn is that.. if i'm gg clubbing again.. can call him to send me home.. but i guess.. i wont call le ba.. if not i will still get myself hurt from his action.. he will agree to send me home.. but at that point of time... he will be nowhere to be contacted.. it's no point to turn back le.. it's too late for him to regret..

ppl will say.. if u cant be a couple.. you can still be friend... but.. the feeling will be so different... i still cant really bring myself to talk to him and all...

*look forward and move on*

2008-12-16T22:37:00.005+08:00

haha... just met Fang for dinner... it's been soo long since i last meet her for dinner le... miss those time... everyone is so busy with work and own life... haix...

actually i wanted to go hg mall to return book and buy the neccessities for my Christmas card... will be doing cards for my girls... they are so sweet... haha... they do make an effort to hand-make Christmas card for everyone.. need to go shop for present also le.. need to buy so many... 1 for my Poly friends de exchange gift... 1 for my "dear hubby" fang... 2 for my Pri friends... and 1 for Pri friends de exchange gift... wow... it's a lot...

went to develop photos just now... and will need another additional photo if not waste money.. haha.. so we took a photo in front of the machine... haha... actually was at Harvey Norman using the machine to develop the photos.. it's so cool... never thought it is so interesting.. haha.. next time can go develop more photos le... yeah..

it's been years since i last took photo with her le ba... don seems to find any photo of her in my com... haha.. this is finally the only pic... well actually there is lar... i'm just too exaggerating only.. haha... but it's like... less than 5.. haha... think probably 1 year 1 photo... haha...

*pardon me for my spelling* thanks...

2008-12-14T15:58:00.019+08:00

i'm finally free... have abandon my blog for quite some time le... was too busy preparing for my exam.. but... i still manage to go out.. to enjoy myself... there are so many things to blog on... but i dunno where to start... guess this entry will be longer than the others le ba...

let me start from going to Marina Barrage during weekend with the girls... there scenery is so nice... it's awesome.. given its the day view or the night view...

i like this photo... it looks like those photo on post cards... but this is taken from my phone instead... i simply love this...

haha.. i like this pic.. but mx says she don like.. hah.. end up i cant ost it in facebook.. but.. haha.. i put it here.. guess she wont mind ba.. haha..

haha.. can see that we really know how to entertain ourselves... especially with the photos...

went to clubbing with wk last week... it's his virgin trip.. bt he don't look like new to the club... haha... he said he wanna go again... but guess he wont need it le ba... he just got himself a gf lo... haha... from his facebook the pic.. can see that the girl is pretty and cute... congrats him o... wish they can last long long ba.. haha... jia you o.

haha... lotsa pictures... after that day clubbing... is time to study for my exam... i'm super stress last week... so many things to study.. and its different from the past... i used to be able to absorb the information easily.. but.. now.. haix.. it's different le.. i started my revision 2weeks ago.. but i don seems to be able to absorb anything...

i went to perm my hair le... still ok ba.. but some ppl say quite mature.. some say very curly.. some say quite cute.. some say not very much diff... haha... i lazy to post the picture here le.. go facebook to see ba.. haha...

yeah... finally can rest le.. exam over!!! haha... but now i will start to worry about my result le.. it's over it's over.. can enjoy my rest at home... so miss my home and the rest time... now then i understand how it is to be at home.. used to go out frequently.. now.. how i wish i'm at home...

well.. there is this friend of mine who wanna go file for a divorce... maybe there are reasons behind it.. i don know.. but then... in the first place what is the reason for getting married?.. what about the child?... every family has it's own story.. guess she is still immature?.. well.. i dont know... but i think will have to really reconsider about it ba.. getting divorce is not an easy thing.. from an outsider point of view i think her parents-in-law are quite nice person le... guess.. the final is still hers... there is nothing we can do ba... it's her life le.. k ba.. i go watch my hot shots le.. that is all for now...

2008-11-26T12:14:00.002+08:00

hmm... yst went to meet aili for her belated bday.. it turns out to be better den wad i've expected... so much better.. haha.. it's been a long time since we last met... everytime there will be like 1 missing ppl... it seems so hard to put everyone together... everyone seems to grow up le.. our topic seems to change.. although we still gossip... but this time we even talk abt economy.. branded stuff.. work.. and others.. haha.. time flies.. think i knw them for like ard 7-8 yrs le.. super long..

well.. the most common topic is still about weight.. bt some ppl are already very thin and she still wanna loose weight lor... her ways are so extreme.. i dont think there is a need to do so ba.. it seems like she's being detached with the world or so... cant reali find the exact words or phrase to describe le..

wish everyone all the best.. hope to meet up soon o.. bt it seems kinda hard le.. cos everyone has their own life.. own bf and all... reali need to make effort to meet ba..

2008-11-24T12:35:00.010+08:00

I'm so good recently.. haha.. didnt go clubbing for nearly a mth le.. hehe.. this is a gd sign... reali don have the mood or craving to go... haha.. i'm a happy girl.. ^_^

went to kbox on fri with steph, kaili, wk, n mx... didnt reali talk photos with them lehx.. only take with mx.. but horx.. all the nice nice photos are with her.. gotta wait le.. haha.. no choice... but.. i have 2 with me.. hee... we sang till around 2am that day.. and everyone is just so exhausted... it's be quite some times since we sing k le.. haha.. i've totally lost touch in chinese songs.. been listening to english hits recently.. kk.. here are the photos...

haha.. we are cam whoring while the rest are singing.. hehe.. our all time fav... heex.. and the scandalous pic..

hmm... sat... haah.. is a super fulfilling day... haha.. we went to buy von and mx's friend's present... heex.. manage to complete the purchase within the day.. 1st time... and it's only 2 of us... the best part is that we reach home before 12 midnight... hahah... very first time...

we went to try the ice cream shop or shld i say the ice shop... it's at far east plaza beside the long john silver... near the toilet.. haha.. the ice sharve is smooth and melt in the mouth... it's also at an affordable price.. nxt time can go again.. ppl there are quite friendly as well.. only thing is that the space is small... cant really house too many ppl...

some of the pics of me n mx enjoying the ice/ice cream.. haha.. nice nice... and photo of us cam whoring in train... haha...

hmm... happy to have gd and caring friend... haha.. Samuel saw my msn nick yst as was asking if i need help.. he told me before if i need help i can go and look for him... well.. yst he pop up and ask if i need any help.. well.. he's such a nice and caring friend... dat time he msg me to ask if i'm alright... well.. touched by that... guess if it's me i don think i will do dat ba... feels and sounds weird.. well.. i'm not sure will he read my blog... if he does.. i gotta tell him this...

thanks for your help and concern... although i'm not say very close to u... but u are reali a good friend... but i still remember hw bad u were when we were young.. haha... if possible... we meet up soon... anyway.. i really need your help.. haha..

2008-11-21T11:19:00.002+08:00

was watching the TV drama "BY MY SIDE" on channel 8... letting me to think if real love does exist... will there be someone ard to love you wholehertedly when they find out that you are sick or abnormal in certain sense?... will such thing happen on earth?...

i think it may.. but it's like out of 0.00000000000001% or less... ppl around are selfish and are unwilling to accept such thing or so... this reali put me into thinking... someone asked me yst... "if i'm short and have aids will you still be my friend?" i was there thinking... if i reali have such a friend.. what will i do?... but as usual.. the ans will be.. "of course.. i will stil be your friend" but wad is the reali ans?... for me.. if i feel dat we are able to communicate well and so on... i will still be ur friend no matter what happen... but that is only me.. wad about others?.. how they react when they are given such a question?...

having a poor health is one of my biggest problem.. but.. i'm still happy that my friends are around me.. but coming to think of the question above.. i think there may have real love/true love... i have a friend who is being catergorised as not very normal actually got herself a bf... and at this pt of time.. we can see that the guy reali treat her well and is good to her.. but are all guys like that?.. i doubt so.. a lot of guys will discriminate ppl... guess this is the nature of human...

2008-11-20T12:16:00.006+08:00

i saw the guy at the bus stop again... btw did i blog abt him?.. maybe not ba... well.. nvm.. let me tell u...

there is this guy who stay near my area.. whenever i go home from school i wll see him at the bus stop.. will be taking the same bus back.. i've no idea who he is.. there was once he smile at me.. so i smile back as well.. thinking that he is my friend or maybe someone whom i know.. after that i found out that i don even know him... the next day... i saw him at the same bus stop as well.. he came up to sit beside me at the bus stop... i heard him saying... "can i know u" things like that.. very softly.. but i don dare to turn to look at him... i keep on looking at another direction...

it's been quite some time since i last saw him... i thought i'm safe and wont have to see him again le.. who knows.. i saw him yesterday night and we took the same bus back from bugis - 51... and change the same bus back as well - 136... gosh.. he smile at me again... and i just force a smile out of my face.. he was sitting near me as well.. he totally freak me out.. luckily i manage to get mx to talk to me on the phone... if not i dunno hw to react le... please don frighten me again.. haha...

well... yesterday is last day for MDP... time to study le..

2008-11-19T11:53:00.002+08:00

boring boring day.. suddenly kinda miss talking to someone online le.. funny.. been talking to him online these days.. nagging abt my stress and all... having him to talk to online help me to distract my stress.. but.. hmm.. he's on leave today.. haha.. so no doubt.. it will be less likely to see him online..

i told myself to relax for this week.. have been stressing myself since a mth ago.. after this week i will have to stress myself again le.. will have main exams coming up during dec... having less than 2 weeks to study le..

rest.. relax.. PLAY... haha... i'm a happy girl nw.. no more craving.. opps.. for the time being larx.. heex..

tata.. gotta work le.. hee...

2008-11-18T16:52:00.002+08:00

hmm.. was browsing some websites just nw and came across this article... i feel it's rather true for human... that is what people will do.. especially girls ba...

When the bus come, you look at it and you said to yourself, "eeee... so full...cannot sit down one". You said to yourself, "I'll wait for the next one."

So you let the bus go and waited for the second bus. Then the second bus came, you looked at it and you said, "eeee...this bus so old... surely very uncomfortable one." So you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.

After a while, another bus came. It's not crowded and not old but you said, "eeee... no air-con one...and the weather is so warm, better wait for the next one. So again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus. Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late. You panicked and jump on to the next coming bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded on to the wrong bus! So you wasted your time and money waiting for what you want! Even if an aircon bus came, can you ensure that the aircon bus won't break down or will the aircon be too old for you?

So people...(mostly girls but guys too!) want to make sure that what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other people a chance, right? If you found that the "bus" doesn't suit, you just press the red button and get off the bus! But wait...I am sure all of you have this experienced before. You saw a bus is coming (the bus you want of course) you flagged it and the driver acted blur by pretending not seeing you and zoomed pass you!

The bottom line of being loved is like waiting for a bus and whether you want to get on the bus and give the bus a chance depends totally on you and walking alone is just like being out of love. If you love someone set him/her free. If he/she comes back to you, you know they are yours. If they don't then it was never meant to be. Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what he or she means to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets.

hmm... well.. comment on this article if you want.. haha..

2008-11-18T14:47:00.002+08:00

hmm... finally finish my project...!!! have been struggling for a good week.. and all thanks to a girl Ana.. thanks to all her HARD work... which make us work even HARDER... have to re-do her part at the eleventh hr... damn... leaving us with no time to edit and to make the whole report flow without flaws... not even completing the Executive Summary... i still have to take leave to do it... we have to submit the report at 8pm yesterday night.. but end up we submit it nearly 9pm... and we have to skip our lesson jus to complete the report.. and she didnt even bother to ask how the report is going on.. i will never wan to do project with her again... hope we wont b in the same class for other modules...

life seems boring recently... it's like project, study, school and work... a daily routine..

guess i will flung my finance paper le.. although i had attemp on all the questions.. but during that time.. everything jus go blank... it's like hitting on to the 'clear' button on the keyboard.. gosh.. think i will have to buck up with the main exam le.. do more.. read more... cant allow any other business to affect me.. nonono ...

sometimes i feel that guys are so hard to trust.. getting to knw this guy.. philips.. if i'm nt wrong he has a gf.. from his msn nick and his msn pic.. but he is like.. keep on wanting to meet me.. saying dat he miss me.. he wanna see me... wa.. scary sia... another thing is that he has a gf.. and he is still like that.. and he is already 29!!! cant he be faithful to his gf.. are all guys like that?... how is it possible to trust a guy?... they can treat u so sweet and nice before u are his gf.. and once u r his gf.. things may change... and even he treats u nicely when u r his gf... are u the only girl that he is seeing?...

duh... guys... haha...

2008-11-17T00:03:00.033+08:00

Finally i have some time to blog... i'm so so busy lately... ok then.. let's start... pictures first.. it will be a lot.

[friday] let me start from the day.. meet the girls for buffet dim sum at 1pm... and the last order is at 2pm... and they close for break at 2.30pm... wow... we ordered the food a one go... we ordered a lot as well... scary... and they come at one short... our tables are filled with foods...

a candid pic taken bt von.. look blur.. dunno wad she's trying to do... hahah...

nt forgeting our all time fav... taking photos while eating... although there is not much time for us to eat le... but we still manage to take photo and laughing...

we just know how to entertain ourselves... can spot any common thing in these photos?... haha... it's the lights of the christmas tree which looks like a party hat... haha... think we are too bored and childish ba.. hahah...

this pic is interesting.. haha.. 3 diff post.. nice nice.. which to possess such a phone.. cos of the photo function.. but not the other functions...

this is the so called party hat that i was referring to... me and my scandal photos with the girls.. haha..

out under the moon trying of "games" haha... giving all those frighten faces...

finding back the childhood moments.. we went back to Toy' R Us... haha.. interesting...

this marks the end of our outings... taking photos in the toilet.. preparing to leave vivo... but this does nt marks the end of my day.. it's instead... the beginning of my nightmare...

went back home and start studying for my finance test... studied till the next day morning 5am.. went to bed to rest for a while and woke up at 7am to prepare for my test.. reached sch and start my test at 9.30 and end at 11.40 rest of a while and its the start my finance lesson at 12.30.. having 15min break in between the lesson.. i end my class at 6pm.. next stop is to McDonald's for my project discussion and dinner... follow on by meeting bang and von they all for drinking session... and this is where i cant take my tiredness anymore.. for the whole week i'm rushing for my project and study for my test.. and the best part is that i have lesson everyday.. reach home at 12midnight.. continue with my project/revision till 2-3am and then went to bed.. wake up at 7am the next day to work.. and this last for the whole week... okok.. back to meeting with bang n co.. ya.. we drank liquor as usual.. but what unusual thing that happen is that i got drunk...!!! and the amount i drink is less than what i used to drink with my mum and her friends... poor bang, von n mx have to send me home.. n bang had to carry me down and piggyback me home... when i wake up there is no hangover wor.. surprisingly.. hah... i promised myself nt to take alcohol when i'm tired.. cos this is the 2nd incident dat i got drunk due to tiredness...

tml is the submission of my project.. actually took leave tml to rest and study MDP.. but in the end i still have to meet my group member for the final writeup and compilation... all thanks to someone... guess i don have the time to rest and study MDP le ba.. the mock test is on wed le...

*thanks girls for helping me to relax and enjoy myself..*

2008-11-10T13:01:00.002+08:00

went back to work today... quite a lot of things to do.. but.. haha.. i'm almost done.. haha... fast horx.. acutally nothing much also.. haha.. but things will be more soon le.. need to do project... and to study for my corporate finance.. haha.. a lot le.. think i will nt be able to slp for quite a few days.. haha.. terrible.. it will be fine soon.. endure ba.. jia you lo..

2008-11-09T02:40:00.002+08:00

opps.. ms KELLY... i'm afraid not for next week... gg to drink with my friend le.. planned and confirmed le.. sorry.. been gg clubbing for almost every week le.. haha.. time to stop and rest a while le... will go prob during dec.. haha.. after my exams le.. super stress nowadays...

feel kinda touch.. haha.. jus now Samuel msg me.. [hope u r feeling better le] haha.. out of a sudden.. i tot he send wrongly.. so i double confirm with him.. bt ya.. he said he didnt send wrong.. so.. haha.. he said that my nick sounds sad.. haha.. funny him.. bt ya.. kinda surprise also.. any way.. thanks.. haha.. hope to meet up with them soon le..