Starting to love you @ __

Sunday, May 31, 2009 ' 5:41 PM Y

wonderfu| day... '

yst was a tirring but great day...

went to celeb mx bday in the morning... we were suppose to meet at 10.30am... end up.. all of us left home at around 11am... and in the end meeting at ard 12noon instead... hahah... what a nice one rite?... lunch at sakae.. nice... my fav. sashimi...

went to underwater world.. n dolphin lagoon... and i have to rush another bday celebration again... haha...

went down to veron's daughter bday... den to st james for ah lian's bday... so so tiring... reach home and knock out... i'm so tired can..? fall aslp when i'm on cab home frm sentosa le.. o my.. lucky i manage to wake up... if nt i dunno where i will go again le...

well... was feeling kinda awakard during the bbq.. cos last time.. i was introduced to the others as someone's soon to be gf... bt things change.. and it is really 180degree change... to the extend that i dunno y i should be there... managed to talk to 2 of louis' friends... till nw i still don rmb their name.. so.. its ok... and the 2 are the ones dat know me as 'someone's soon to be gf' hw awakard it is... when he arrived.. totally no communication was done... and i have totally no mood to talk to that person... given my mood for the day was gd... only talk to the 2 particular person and stick to fang n her bf... when they left.. louis n veron made effort to talk and keep me accompany.. cos mx they all still have nt had their dinner... so no pt going dwn early.. haha...

louis manage to tell me of myself.. what i am in work and my stubborness and all... he makes me think of what i want in r/s... but then... what i want are just fairy tale... i am still not willing to face the reality...

i've changed... and i'm nt sure have i change for the better or for the worst... change to cover everything frm others... hide behind a mask... forcing everyone to think that i am ok... not willing to face failure and oppose to what ppl think is the right thing to be done... am forcing myself to the extend that no one can help me...

what i really am??

not forgeting to thanks YM for keeping me accompany with the sms-es... keep my brain processing just to reply his sms... and make sure i am home safely... thanks for that... whenever i drink a lot.. he will be there smsing me and wait till i reach home den slp... n my friends who are concern of me as well...

ThaNk u...!

Makes me wonders ;

Saturday, May 30, 2009 ' 12:52 AM Y

ranDomZ '

suddenly have a lot of things to write.. dunno y.. hha...
shall say about my busy schedule for tml... wa.. think no one is so busy like me lorx... in 1 day.. 3 bday celebration... haha... omg!!! can die rite??
1. Lunch cum Sentosa trip - MX Bday...
2. Dinner cum BBQ - Veron's daughter.. Claudia Bday...
3. Clubbing cum drinking - WS Bday...

faint... haha... i feel like i'm rushing for dunno wad... hahah... and at this time i'm still awake.. just finish every single thing for MX de present only... hopefully... hahah.. shall see hw i will be like on sunday... hahah...

next...
really found out that i have so many ppl who care for me... thank u ppl... i'm so touched when i see those msg and msn pop up... ppl whom i least expected to have pop up such msg.. i'm fine le.. really ok... don worry...

i have random emotions... it goes up n down as and when it likes.. cannot be controlled.. can be happy at a time.. and crying at the other time... dunno y... hahah... what can i do?.. its my dumb hormones that control my brain.. haha...

and...
avoid does not bring you to anywhere.. neither does it solves your problem/s... it may also end up u having less friend and so on... if u manage to see this... pls rmb.. ur friends are who u are comfortable staying and hanging ard with... don because of certain thing or people and avoid your friend... its nt wroth it.. ppl still have to carry on living... its nt that w/o u they cant live.. but to loss a close friend that you had known for years is really not worth it...
think more and just be urself... no point avoiding and hidding..

lastly...
there are ups n downs in life... just like stock market.. u nv knw what will happen next.. although it can be analyse and things may be going on in wat u expect... but it is nt totally what it is... no one know the future... u can only predict.. just like stock market... haha... maybe i study too much le...
but.. ya.. late nature take its course... when a door shut.. run to another open door... ur future/happiness/love/etc... is there waiting for you...

i'll be strong... will be stronger than yesterday...

love my friends.. they are so sweet n thoughtfull... appreciate you guys... thanks... =)

Makes me wonders ;

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 ' 3:07 PM Y

physically tired '

i'm so sleepy... wanna slp le... at this hour... better dont get caught...

i've no idea of what my post is gonna be about... jus too pack and busy with my schedule.. too many ppl de bday... i so wanna slp...

Makes me wonders ;

Wednesday, May 13, 2009 ' 1:18 PM Y

terr|ble '

feeling so shitty... everything seems to be gg the wrong direction.. everything seems to be screwed up.. what is happening? i feel so lost.. so lost in every aspects.. i dont knw what i am capable anymore... ppl say effort = result.. but i doubt so.. my sky seems to be falling dwn soon.. so soon till i cannot see the rainbow anymore.. so soon till i can feel the thunderstorm approaching... what is there for me to go for?

friends are said to be there for u... but most of them have their own life... what is the point of asking u out n not talking to u?.. what is the point to see and ask whereby it seems to be a one-way traffic?... u have know me so many yrs.. and u know what i will think in certain aspects.. other than that.. u know the feeling of being alone.. but what have u done now? its just fulfilling on what u said u don like in the past.. and its even worst.. ppl do change.. but u had changed to someone whom i can no longer communicate with.. someone whom i will try to avoid cos i dont want to feel the hurt in it.. u are not there when i need u.. u are not there at any other time... looking at u makes me feel so disappointed.. so many yrs of friendship cannot even be on par with a few months r/s... everything is so fragile... so terrible...

nothing seems to go well for me.. NOTHING!!!

i feel rather miserable now.. what can i do? life is full of up and down.. but my life seems to be only down and further down.. when can i finally see the sun?... when can i finally relax myself and all?? when?... how can i not to think of anything when thinking doesnt even help at all? finally get a route in my life and after few steps forward with bruises and falls.. it is blocked again..

why is life so unfair??? especially to me.. what had i done wrong?... i'm always trying to be strong.. strong in front of anyone else.. but how long can i take it? i'm just feeling v tired... so tired..

Makes me wonders ;

Sunday, May 10, 2009 ' 10:03 PM Y

it's over... '

this week finally come to an end... all the trouble n all had past... one of the day turns out to be better than what i've expected... at least more enjoying n all... more heart talking and more soul searching... really have to think it through and not act rush... have to change for the better.. however.. the other day was terrible.. it's expected.. and the only word i can say is... disappointed..

i'm so tired now.. didnt slp yst night.. cos in chalet.. wanted to slp.. but heard ppl snoring... first is frm the left side.. when left side stop snoring.. right side start snoring.. when right side stop.. left side start.. and this goes on for an hr or 2... when finally both side stop snoring... its the thunder that starts... and it goes on for another hour... arggh... when i manage to take a wink.. someone's hp alarm goes on... and so i'm so awake from 4am to 7am... so poor me... have to wait for them to check out and have breakfast at mac and all.. reached home at 12noon.. only manage to slp for ard 3hr and off to prepare to meet my mum for mother's day.. haix... having headache le.. tml is a long day...

jia you ba...

*still thinking and thinking.. but the answer does not surface up*

Makes me wonders ;

Thursday, May 7, 2009 ' 3:11 PM Y

TOO early TOO late '

what is meant to be will also be... what is not.. will nv be.. ppl always say this... meeting the right person at the right time is very important as well... but it does not really always happen... meeting the right person too early and realising it too late... time plays a very important role... well.. let time tell... haha~

am watching "hes just not that into you" and is a really nice show... women like to think of excuess to cover up why men doesnt call and why is he doing certain things.. the girl friends of these women are does not dare to tell them the truth and also add on to the expectation... what is true is that hes just not interested.. that is the fact and the only answer..

facing it and dealling with it is the only way out.. haha... so girls out there.. don cover up for guys that doesnt call or contact u and all.. face it and move on...

kk.. continue my show le.. haha...

Makes me wonders ;

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 ' 4:30 PM Y

t|r|ng... '

i'm so tired.. think i'm really getting old le.. jus a night and i dont seems to be able to take it le.. nxt week how?? o no... was having OT till 11pm yst.. and reach home at ard 11.45pm... cant really manage to wake up today... i miss my bed... keep dozing off in office today.. its the first time after i finish my exam...

what will it be like after i start school?? i guess i will be even more tired le... so fast its tue le.. gg to be weekend soon.. in just a wink of eye.. omg... how how how??? scary... so worried.. will i be in the same class as him?? cos he is the only person whom i know in finance class.. and the only person whom i talk to in finance class... i'm so lazy to go make friend and all... know new ppl is so tiring... i just want the normal old clique of friends...

i'm just so contridicting... i want to be successful in my career and all.. but i also want to lead a simple life.. how is it possible?? how can be successful n lead simple life if there isnt any hardwork and all to be put in?... haha... gd question that i have...

i'm jus so tired... tired of everything.. tired of waiting.. tired of life... haix... dont worry i'm not having any mood swing.. i'm jus really tired.. wanna slp n really rest.. but guess will have to wait for next year le.. cos i dont think i will have enough leave to take and money to spend... waiting for sponsor hahaha...

Makes me wonders ;

Monday, May 4, 2009 ' 2:46 PM Y

what a day!!! '

the start off for the week/day is terrible... couldn't get to sleep at night.. or i should say this morning... keep tossing n turning in bed till ard 2am or even 3am... and have difficulty in waking up also... so.. the first day of work for this week I AM LATE...!!! this is not the main thing... the main issue is...

when i'm having my lunch jus now in the canteen.. out of nowhere came the chilli sauce.. none of my colleague was eating any sauce at that point of time... and look up... there is a bird on top... it must be done by the bird..!! i don think its shit cos its red in colour... unless the bird is having mens... den probably... -_-"
come to think about it.. i'm lucky that it didnt drop on my head or in my food.. if it drops on my head.. i'm gonna take half day home to wash my head!!! eew.... if it drops on my food at most i buy a new bowl... sianx... wad an event to start the week...

in order to make myself happy... i bought a small doreamon back rest cushion... so happy.. haha.. this is to compensate on the upset event...

* wondering what it is now... got a feeling that i know the ans le... it seems to be the same as my dream... dont ask me y.. but this feeling seems to be very strong...
* not having too much hope... i think it will soon be time... if it really happen... this shld be the 2nd or 3rd case le ba... dont really rmb... well.. i can say it is always the same me in realising what i should realise... but.. too bad...
* according to facebook quiz, which may not be real... indicates that i should have 6-10 bfs before i get the right one... haha... i guess i'm at the 5th or 6th one le ba... if you were to consider flings and all... i really don want to hit 10... its so hard to manage... and i'm lazy to keep on falling for ppl... damn tired can...

k le ba... go back to work... nth much to do also... cos i'm almost done with my mth end stuff.. haha... not very looking forward to the weekend... cos:
1. it seems to be a tiring weekend..
2. it will be a 'lonely' weekend...
3. i will be broke due to mother's day..
4. after this weekend i have to go back to school on monday le...

haix~ ja y0u ba...

Makes me wonders ;

Sunday, May 3, 2009 ' 2:14 PM Y

freaky rain... '

reach home this morning at ard 2+ am from marina sq... took night rider home... it suddenly rain.. and its so scary... heavy thunderstorm... have to walk all the way to the overhead bridge and climb the overhead bridge... the wind is so strong also larx... wa lau... gt shelter like no shelter also... wet.

i'm like shilvering lorx... most ppl who know me knows that i'm super frighten of thunder n lightnings... i almost burst into tears... not knwing what to do.. but just keep on walking.. my mind only think of reaching home asap.. so i wont be caught in the rain and having to see lightnings and hear thunder...

once i reach home.. its like... thank god... but i'm still shilvering... manage to calm myself down before gg to bed... i really don want to be outside in the road during thunderstorm le... =(

Makes me wonders ;

Saturday, May 2, 2009 ' 1:04 PM Y

| told u so... '

come across this song... upon listening to it... it makes my eyes red and watery... suddenly feeling very emo and all sort of pictures keep flashing in my mind... i love the lyrics and the meaning of it... it stirs up all sort of feelings that i have... for each and everyone...

its a nice song... and i simply love it when i hear it for the first time...

Carrie:
Suppose I called you up tonight
And told you that I love you
And suppose I said I wanna come back home
And suppose I cried and said I think I finally learned my lesson
And Im tired of spending all my time alone
If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted
And it's killing me to be so far away
Would you tell me that you love me too
And would we cry together
Or would you simply laugh at me and say...
I told you so
Oh I told you so
I told you some day you'd come crawling back
And asking me to take you in
I told you so
But you had to go
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again

Randy:
If I got down on my knees
And told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand

Together:
Would we get that old-time feeling
Would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began

Carrie:
Would you tell me that you've missed me too
And that you've been so lonely
And you've waited for the day that I returned

Together:
And we'd live and love forever
And that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned

Carrie:
And would you say I told you so
Oh I told you so
I told you some day you'd come crawling back
And asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go

Randy:
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again

Together:
Now I've found somebody new
And you will never break my heart in two again
Over..

its so meaningful... something done may not be un-done... hurt will always be there... when its over.. it is over... but why will ppl always learn to cherish when its over.. why do ppl regret and wanting to turn back time when they know it will be impossible??... why is it so?? not to pin point on anyone with this phrase.. cos i'm like that as well...

heard from radio... there is the guy who woo a girl during sec sch time... n when he confess to the girl.. she told him that she is not ready and wanna put her time in her o'level... however, 7 yrs later... both of them are together... how sweet it is... it seems like when u alway say it is impossible for u and a particular person.. u nv knw in the end u really fall for the person.. its jus an uncontrollable action... there are actually a lot of such incident happening around us...

Makes me wonders ;

Twittx