Starting to love you @ __

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 ' 3:23 PM Y

another day n counting... '

its another day nearer to my school starts again... drag of this kind of feeling... but at least i still manage to rest.. its still not so bad yet... should be happy.. haha.. have got nothing better to do in office these days... tot i will be very busy.. but i'm not so busy actually.. relatively slack i should say... have ample time to think of things and all.. but on n off there are some problems regarding to work that let me worry n angry off... but overall still not so bad.. working the days without my admin is kinda boring.. no one to disturb n talk to me.. haix.. my friends seem very busy today.. no on to talk to le.. so bored...

maree told me to give someone time to think.. cos i need to think doesnt means the person doesnt need to think.. so... time is given... to when?? i dunno.. i'm just too selfish... just think of myself ba... i just want what i want... i want fast ans.. i want direct ans... i don wan to be wishy washy.. though at times i am... but yes means yes.. no means no.. haha... mayb this is what i learn recently during work.. and it seems like i will be going to be more daring and so.. is this good or bad?? well.. i've no idea... haa...

k le.. dunno wad to post le.. shld go back to work... n think.. n dream... haha...

Makes me wonders ;

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 ' 5:43 PM Y

confused shld be the right word... '

hmm... promised my friends that i will not use my com when i'm home after work... cos it's so 'nan de' for me to rest at home... cos of my studies n all... yst i finally can slp early.. slpt at 11+ and don feel like waking up... haha.. 11+ is still consider late... shld try 10+ tonight.. haha..

being an impatient person.. i just want to know the ans soon and fast.. cos i knw the flame will be dying off for waiting too long.. not wanting to waste this opp and knowing someone seems to be a blockhead.. what is the most applicable way to approach?? i knw waiting is not my cup of tea.. so what shld i do?

i believe ppl will be thinking wad the hell m i talking abt.. bt.. u guys just wait patiently ba.. i shall reveal it when the time is right.. if its over.. den shall just leave it as a secret ba.. kinda lazy to go upload too many pictures.. however, picture speaks a thousand words... bt not nw... i'm still anxious to knw the ans, the response n reaction.. hw is it like??... can i knw the ans n all soon???

Makes me wonders ;

Sunday, April 26, 2009 ' 2:34 PM Y

finally the end of i trimester...! '

finally its over... i've been waiting for this day since weeks ago... my last paper is over... yeah.. i'm so happy.. at least i can rest for 2 wks.. haa.. better than nth... hopefully next sem is not so taxing... i think i will not ba.. cos i'm taking 2 modules.. shld be so much better than this sem le.. hahaha... so luck that i didnt really study yst.. cos if i really do study.. i will end up studying the wrong topic and wasting my time and energy on it... haa.. manage to answer most of the questions.. its is not as bad as wad i thought of.. its more like application question.. when u really do and put in effort on the project.. the questions are still consider ok... so.. i think i will pass ba.. shld not be a problem..

hmm... saw this quote on the bus.. bt i think i didnt rmb too clearly on it.. but it goes smthing like... "nobody is perfect untill u love them" as beauty is on the eye of the beholder.. really got the understanding of it.. when u like the person.. no matter what he/she does is still perfect to u.. though there will still be rooms for improvement.. but u will still he/she is the only one le.. it was also said that time heals all wound... but got frm the quote is that "not time but love heals all wounds" although u are wounded by someone in the past.. but the love showered by the new someone will slowly heal the wound that you are carrying ard..

come to think of it.. am i late?.. is it too late to realise? or is it just the old and usual me who always late.. slow in finding out.. slow in understanding certain things... the feeling of waiting is terrible.. have been living my life "alone" and my world is surround by me.. myself.. n I.. becoming v selfish and expect others to think for me first rather than themselves... to adapt to "couplehood" seems to be a hard route.. giving n taking seems to be the only way out.. but it is always easier to be said than done... how is it possible to handle it and all?? it is like a long long essay qn with no right or wrong ans... haa...

well.. that is all for now..
not all bus will be waiting there for so long.. it still have to continue its own journey and will drive away.. is chasing behind the bus the only solution in order to catch the bus?.. or to wait for the next bus not knowing what is coming up...

Makes me wonders ;

' 12:15 AM Y

no words can describe how i feel... '

it's finally the last paper le.. and i totally have no mood to study...! really no mood.. think i've drained out all my energy in my projects le... that is why i totally do not have the mood to study.. it seems to be what i used to feel during poly ba... reallly too tired to study le... bt i guess i will start to study still... no matter wad...

when i told someone that i don feel like studying.. the response i get is that.. "u not afraid that u fail?" haha.. come to think of it.. i now quite scared le... so will start later.. think i used to nua till late night then start study le.. past 2 papers are still alright.. over confident.. but should not be too bad larx... hopefully i still can make it.. haha...

went out today.. though its exam week.. haha.. but study n study.. haix.. i really need a break!! i'm just too stress out le.. stress makes to tired... well.. help someone to post some photos.. haha..

here u go.. haha... went to meet them just now.. for some bbq stuff.. well.. its their friend's bbq larx... was asked to attend by someone.. n also take it as a chance to acc someone.. haha.. i think the someone know what someone means larx.. so i shall not ctn.. haha...

i know someone wants me to post the pic of someone.. but not now ba.. prob next time k??.. haha... anyway u have it.. so u jus see frm ur phone lo.. haha..

well.. ask me how i feel... kinda funny... a little diff from what i expect.. and how i expect.. is it the ppl or is it the occassion?? beats me.. jus feel a little left out though u are still around me.. don really feel the sense of importance.. maybe there is larx.. but its not so strong afterall... if i'm in the shoe what will i do?? i guess i will be the same ba.. hmm.. so shall not blame that someone.. like it was being said.. u nv know what will happen next.. so jus see how it goes ba... feels a little disappointed as well.. maybe i've expect too much?? haa... not sure.. shall wait n see...

k le.. i shall go n study le.. jia you !!! after this bloody paper i can come back home n sleep my sun away.. prepare to go to work on mon le.. tata~

Makes me wonders ;

Thursday, April 23, 2009 ' 10:19 PM Y

clearing my thoughts... '

i guess i roughly know the ans to my question... after thinking n thinking... should have knw it long ago.. but i failed to do so... so.. haha...

dont worry.. it does not affect my studies... shall see what i wanna do abt it le..

gd luck for my exam!!! jia you o..!!

Makes me wonders ;

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 ' 11:16 PM Y

~another day... '

its another day nearer to my exam... it'm so tired and restless to study.. cant manage to put anything into my brain... cant even sit down still to study... help~ how to sit for exam?? argh... damn...

hmm.. went to meet veron, louis n shaun at thomson plaza just now.. well.. everythings seems to be ok.. its been quite some times since the 4 of us get together.. guess its been a yr le ba... or maybe more.. after veron got married we nv really have a chance to meet.. maybe there will be more of such chance to come?? haha... i don knw.. well.. guess ns makes ppl grow.. it seems that he is more mature n doesnt give me the feeling of childish... haa.. i guess it shall be a compliment for him ba.. haha...

erm.. if u ask me how is it.. well.. managed to talk a lot.. and crap a lot.. but still i'm nt very used to be speaking english.. maybe its that the environment that i'm in is usually chinese speaking.. that is y when u ask me to speak english.. its as if u wanna kill me.. hahah...

well.. anyway.. wish him get well soon ba.. and be more careful when riding his bike.. haa.. but doubt he wil get to see this post.. and hope he wont b able to to so.. cos wad i think as compliment may be what he thinks as ??? haha.. i dont knw.. shall post the photos of me n veron once she send them to me..

k le.. stop here ba.. gonna slp soon.. so so tired..
ps. can someone study n take the exam for me?? haha...

Makes me wonders ;

Thursday, April 16, 2009 ' 12:54 AM Y

p|ssed aga|n~ '

cant imagine there are such ppl around... i dont knw to say her dumb or sucker... such simple task for her and yet she fail to perform it... o please.. if she tell me she's from generation X or baby boomers i have nth to say... but she's just a yr younger than me.. should be more IT savvy and more brain.. yet.. generating pie chart using excel and to sum up the results seems to be so hard for her... she can tell me that the result she got from the pie chart is like shit... isnt there something known as mouth and phone?? dont she have the mouth to ask and the phone to call?? just a simple thing and she delay for like 2 days and nth useful is out.. its just a waste of time..

when i asked her to sum up the result in excel for the survey.. she still have the cheek to ask me to ask others to do... fuck.. moreover it is logical to sum up the score for survey... i've even sent them the journals for the analysis.. and she didnt even read and just send me incomplete stuff... another one worst.. MIA... nv even ask wad she can help out... it's like thursday morning now.. and my result is not out yet.. have to submit on sat le... these few days am very busy at work... cant even do my project in office le... stress... i think i just complete the whole report by myself ba... asking them to do is just a waste of time... in the end i still have to redo and stuff like that... damn...

bloody dumb ass... fucking idiots... damn whores... watever...! pardon me for the valgurities... i'm really at my limit le... thanks...

Makes me wonders ;

Sunday, April 12, 2009 ' 10:24 PM Y

p|ssed... stucked... '

pissed with today's connection... damn bloody slow.. haha... cant seems to go into the website i wanna go de... msn keep on showing "The following message could not be delivered to all recipients" damn... give up using le.. gg to bed again after blogging.. hope it wont take too long...

did nth but slping, using com n eating these 2 days... its been so long since i last relax myself... it feels so good.. no worries no problems.. how i wish i can spend more days like that.. bt i knw i am just dreaming... slowing dream on ba.. haa..

well... feel so... arghh.. i dont knw hw to discribe... well.. that day R came to look for me.. and he pissed me off with the questions he asked... stop trying ba.. move on... i'm already gone le... no point trying.. its just too late.. i dont want to waste another day.. dont want to get myself hurt again..

dont really feel like having or getting someone yet.. probably is that i have not meet the right on yet ba... i also dont knw what i want... what i'm thinking... days pass and i'm still alone.. still thinking what i want... i knw sometimes i will give ppl the wrong impression n thinking.. but i'm just me.. u cant stop me from being myself.. i knw ppl have to grow.. and i am growing... i'm trying to grow and be more mature... bt that is towards work ba..? personal life... i'm still learning to be someone i am.. not wanting to copy how others are... i am who i am... just take it or leave it ba..

there is this song i want to delicate to R... time to move on and stop trying... i'm no longer the little girl whom he thinks i m in the past le... stop trying to trick me into you trap le.. i'm sick of it le... below is the song by Girlicious - Already Gone:

there is no mv but the lyrics of the song... but its a nice song.. and reflects on what i'm thinking... enjoy..

Makes me wonders ;

Thursday, April 9, 2009 ' 1:04 PM Y

~sw|ng '

blame it on the month... blame it on myself...

i dont know what is wrong with me.. mayb its the period of the month or maybe i am really such sensitive.. dont like the feeling of being left out... dont like the feeling of being alone.. dont like the feeling of not being cared and concerned off... dont misunderstand.. its not abt bgr thing...

its just a part with my colleagues... i dont know how to put it in words and all... its too long of a story... maybe what they think is different from what i think.. but i am jus not happy about it... it seems that everyone has 2 faces... i really dont know which is which.. maybe its cos of the 'masters' who result in the others to follow.. mayb its just that they forget abt me.. i also don knw.. all i know is that when they need you.. they are gd.. when they dont... be prepared to listen negative comments passing ard.. sick of it... hate this kind of working life.. hate these ppl...

being the star in the company is so hard.. being the apple of the eyes of the superior will have to be prepared to be the bulleye of the rest... once its possible.. they will throw a dart towards you and see where it hits.. if it hits the bulleye.. gd luck.. be prepared to face anything that comes to you.. if it hits the side.. thank god.. u only suffer from minor injury...

blame it.. blame it on ...

Makes me wonders ;

Wednesday, April 8, 2009 ' 10:37 PM Y

~effort pays up '

i'm so so happy... at least my effort for the past few weeks pays up... been working reasonably hard for my projects... putting in every single brain juice i have in all my projects... and now.. i see the fruit of them...

MRA although the final project result is not out yet... the most worried part had passed... my lit review... i've struggled several days staying up late till 2-3 midnight everyday... gg to work late.. get urgent leave just to take a little rest and to continue doing my project ALONE... none of them are useful enough to help in the project.. even if to split the part accordingly to do... i still have to redo it.. and it is OUT of PoinT... just found out on monday that i've passed it... initially i thought i had failed it.. cos my lecturer just glance through my project and comment on it... well... i manage to get one of the top few in class for that report... sigh... feel so relieve... now is to beautify the part and add in more info and points into my final report for this... yeah~

IM is so much of a terror to me... the lecturer is strict... presentations are terrible... almost every group are being critisized by him... not really understand his requirement for the report and all... start the write up rather late.. basically 2-3days before the submission date... stay up till 4 in the morning just to complete my part and all... and the result is that we scored the highest in the class... its a HD...! wow... thanks to my group member with their great effort and high english standard... my course work is like in HD standard as well... so have to buck up on my main exams to maintain the good result...

haha.. so happy... this is the 2nd gd news that i received from school le.. hope tml will have another good news.. haha... finance law... haa...

well the enrollment for next sem starts le... finally decided to take up only 2 modules for this sem... dont think i can take 3 modules le.. really very stress... initially tot of taking IA, TM and IMC.. but all are very tough...
IA has 2 group project analysis...
TM has to do online tutorials...
IMC has 3 group presentations and final report...
dont think it is advisable le... think i will be super tired and cannot do well if i continue to take 3 modules per sem le... anyway the economy is still weak.. even if i complete my degree early i may not be able to change a job.. so hmm.. y not just take it slow..?

yeah.. my final decision... take 2 modules per sem le... i have to score for finance...! dont want to have poor result.. that is not the point of studying and doing the best... haa...
k le.. gotta start with my final report le.. haha... tata~

Makes me wonders ;

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 ' 12:02 AM Y

the r|se of ra|nbow |n front of my eyes... '

finally i see the beam of light... fianlly~

i managed to pass my lit review which i tot i failed... my effort paid up... i didnt waste my effort.. but is it fair for me?.. well... at least i got wad i wan.. and will mark them accordingly.. both of them at least make the effort.. unlike the other one.. totally hopeless.. even the individual report which was due last week, she had not complete it this week... and everyone had handed up their reports already...

this is my first time talking to the guys in my class.. and is like talk really a lot.. joking and all.. fun... but this is the last lesson.. haha... don think will be in the same class next sem le ba.. but they are all interesting ppl... hope to see them next sem.. haha...

i'm left with my final report... complete it and prepare for my exam... maybe on and off i can study.. my paper is like 3 days lorx...
24-April 7 - 9pm
25-April 2.30 - 4.40pm
26-April 9.30 - 12.40pm

terrible.. my weekends are gone.. my slp are gone... slpless... haix... think i look older already.. dunno what others think abt my age le.. haa.. don think i look like my age.. damn.. i shall spend more on facial products and make ups... maybe i will look younger?? haha...
will rest more after my exams... yeah~

jia you eunce...!!! haha...

Makes me wonders ;

Friday, April 3, 2009 ' 12:00 AM Y

m|ss|ing... '

hmm... the feeling of missing some one... haa... dont ask me who i missed... i wont tell u... hahaha...

but am curious with the kind of feeling... dont know why will such a feeling surface up when i cant or know that it impossible to get the person.. be it due to work commitments or whatever... haha..

knowing it will be impossible.. but i'm not sure why i will have such a feeling... maybe it's cos my heart is rather empty now.. or maybe it's cos i'm too close to that person... or maybe... maybe... too many maybes... but not sure which is the actual answer...

well.. dont dwell too much... u guys out there dont be too curious... haha...

Makes me wonders ;

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