Friday, August 21, 2009 ' 8:17 AM Y
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its the very rare time when i wake up so urber early... having a very mixed feeling now... not knowing should i feel relief or should i feel sad... she didnt wait for me to visit her in hospital and now she is gone... y she didnt wait for me?... i still intend to visit her in the late morning before gg out... but now no nd le...
happy => cos she is able to rest finally... after so many years of slogging... she is able to go to a better place in the after life...
sad => is that i cant get to see her for the last time and she is gone... sad when i had lost a kin in my life... sad is that i will not get to see her anymore... sad is when "tml nv come"... always say tml when wanting to visit her when she's at home.. sad is when i didnt make my stand clear to send her to the hospital or my hse on the day she fall dwn...
but now.. there is no point for that le... she's gone... and gone forever to a better place... but still she will be there in my heart.. despite the fact that i am not very very close with her.. or in a very very gd terms with her... but.. its always the boring things that we remember...
a relief is that my papers are finally finished... am able to go down to the wake... not affecting my studies... maybe she did wait for me.. but is to wait for me to complete my exam before she really move on... cos heard from my mum that few days back she is already in critical condition le... i think its on wed.. which really affected my studies... cant really concentrate... but yst.. my aunt says she is better le... can talk... which made my heart feel lighter... and am able to perform better for exam... after everything.. she just moved on...
i will always remember how you treat me when i'm young.. what i had done... and how u try to protect me... and also let me grow up to be more brave n independent...
thanks for your teaching... R.I.P. and lead a better after life...
