Wednesday, May 13, 2009 ' 1:18 PM Y
terr|ble '
feeling so shitty... everything seems to be gg the wrong direction.. everything seems to be screwed up.. what is happening? i feel so lost.. so lost in every aspects.. i dont knw what i am capable anymore... ppl say effort = result.. but i doubt so.. my sky seems to be falling dwn soon.. so soon till i cannot see the rainbow anymore.. so soon till i can feel the thunderstorm approaching... what is there for me to go for?
friends are said to be there for u... but most of them have their own life... what is the point of asking u out n not talking to u?.. what is the point to see and ask whereby it seems to be a one-way traffic?... u have know me so many yrs.. and u know what i will think in certain aspects.. other than that.. u know the feeling of being alone.. but what have u done now? its just fulfilling on what u said u don like in the past.. and its even worst.. ppl do change.. but u had changed to someone whom i can no longer communicate with.. someone whom i will try to avoid cos i dont want to feel the hurt in it.. u are not there when i need u.. u are not there at any other time... looking at u makes me feel so disappointed.. so many yrs of friendship cannot even be on par with a few months r/s... everything is so fragile... so terrible...
nothing seems to go well for me.. NOTHING!!!
i feel rather miserable now.. what can i do? life is full of up and down.. but my life seems to be only down and further down.. when can i finally see the sun?... when can i finally relax myself and all?? when?... how can i not to think of anything when thinking doesnt even help at all? finally get a route in my life and after few steps forward with bruises and falls.. it is blocked again..
why is life so unfair??? especially to me.. what had i done wrong?... i'm always trying to be strong.. strong in front of anyone else.. but how long can i take it? i'm just feeling v tired... so tired..
