it's always easy to say things than to perform the things that was said.. today is a rather emo day for me.. was talking to ppl regarding to r/s... i dont knw what i'm thinking... feeling to have 1.. bt don dare to allow 1.. contridicting... after so long... i jus found out that i cannot let go of my past... time heals all wound?... i doubt so... it's been so long.. bt it's not healing... i'm just avoiding it.. and not facing what i should face up with...

putting up an act and try convince myself that everything is alright... i'm happy.. i'm okay... is so hard... how can i let out my saddness and all whereby i dont have the time to cry.. and i'm not really allow to cry...? what i really want?..

there are things that cant be said.. nv been told... and will nv let out.. everyone is there happily attached and all.. and i still fear to have 1... but i still wish to have 1.. but there is no one..

i dont knw what i'm undergoing nw... guess the bottle is being filled up to the brim.. need to let out some in order to continue filling it up...

ppl ard me seems lesser n lesser... it seems like when they are facing problems then will they come back to look for u.. if they are happily living their life.. u are actually either forgotten or not as important.. nv will they ask for the reason.. nv will they try to find out on hw u feel and nv will they put themselves in ur shoe to think and feel for u.. well.. they didnt even to contact u.. y will they bother to care for ur feeling?... human are really selfish... they only think for themselves.. bt why m i so bothered about this matter?..

cos i'm a human as well.. i care too much on how i feel.. how others will feel... the yrs cannot compare to the partner... that is all i can say.. even when gg out with them it's always like "buy 1 get 1 free" kind of feeling.. n u are transparent... non existance..

dont ask me out if u don have the heart to care for my feeling.. dont do things jus to make urself happy whereby u already have someone to make u happy.. u have ppl to pamper on u doesnt mean that i have to pamper u as well..

forget it then... jus don cry to me when u have problems.. i dont think i nd to be there.. cos u are not there for me as well... it's jus tit for tat...

gd nitex~

Makes me wonders ;