Tuesday, September 30, 2008 ' 11:37 AM Y
Denotes of dream '
To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.
worry again '
we just feel so insecure with each other... maybe we started off too fast le... i think it's reali my problem ba... i start to think of a lot of things... guess i reali lack of security... mayb is due to my past experience ba.. dat makes me think lidat... although at times he will give me certain affirmation.. bt den i'm still worry... i stil think dat it's jus sweet talking... gosh.. wad happen to me?? i dreamt of R this morning... dreamt dat he came back to me.. call me and sms me.. given dat i'm with WY le.. dunno y will i have this dream... 
finally got this photo by mx... haha.. although it's dark.. bt i stil like this pic... hehe... don make me look thin...
Monday, September 29, 2008 ' 12:40 PM Y
Baby.. 你就是我的.. Wei Yi '
nw den i feel the diff of being attached n being single... dat is wad i nv had when i'm with R... reali nv... bt WY is diff... mayb it's jus stil honey moon period... dat's y... bt i stil cant reali believe that such gd thing will happen to me.. i can feel dat i m of smthing to him... he wil b sad and all... bt.. m i reali dat lucky??? kinda hard to believe worx..
Sunday, September 28, 2008 ' 1:28 AM Y
feeling confused... '
am i making the right choice?... will he be the one?... it seems like i'm always rushing into r/s den think of other things... am i ready for it?.. haha.. start to think le... ya.. he is gd looking.. tall.. rather well-being.. gt a car... likes me.. but is this real? will i b so lucky to meet someone lidat?... i've broken everyone's record.. 3 days.. bt seriously speaking is 2 days only.. super fast lorx... let's see hw...
Friday, September 26, 2008 ' 11:41 AM Y
tired... '
i'm so so tired... haha... 24hrs a day is totally nt enough for me... i need more time... i don have enough slp... i wan my beauty slp... arghh... haha... there is this someone says i look like 20-22 yrs old only.. haha.. nv expect that... i tot i will look like 24-26 yrs old.. haha... well.. guess i'm right le... ppl whom i knw in club reali thinks dat i'm wild.. haha.. i ask someone abt it... and ya.. he says i'm super wild in club... haha... omg...
too much clubbing.. is so tiring... i nd slp... rest... ample amount.. bt i doubt i can have it.. haha...
Thursday, September 25, 2008 ' 11:51 AM Y
my tots... '
decided to put to an end on G and R le... move on... when it's over.. it's over le.. for G... ya.. there is no pt clarifying things when his mind is set...
for R... finally get out of it.. don reali feel like gg back le.. if nt wil be stuck for another 3 yrs.. haha...
although letting go of R makes me feel a little lost.. as in there is reali no one there for me already... not like the past.. there is someone.. although he's nt very significant...
yeah...! live goes on...
dbl o ~ ladies / girls nite '
went to dbl o with the girls... it's a rather tiring week... was rushing for my project and didnt reali have enough slp... a bit reluctant to go... bt ya.. end up we still go... the initial destination is zouk bt we do not reali know hw to go over and don wanna waste cab fare... so... change to dbl o.. haha.. and it's wow... not bad too... as usual in the toilet.. haha.. dat is when meli is nt reali drunk yet... stil a bit awake... bt nt totally...
me n meli... with her eyes seems like closing... bt.. still a bit awake larx.. kinda hard to drag her to the toilet...
von n xi... haha.. they wanna take full view de also when i took with meli... heehex...
she is so super high when she's at dance floor... omg... poor us.. esp von.. have to look after her for the whole nite.. haha.. she's heavy... and strong... tiring sia..
m n xi at the dance floor... don reali wanna bother abt meli first le.. haha.. enjoy ourselves...
the best part is that... after meli go high.. she suddenly wanna go back slp... haha.. funny her... den have to look after her at the dance floor.. we are a grp dat know hw to protect ourselves... haha... ~the girls jus wanna have fun~
after the 3 long hrs... out at the place for our Bah Kut Teh... haha.. can see i reali shag out...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 ' 12:37 PM Y
wow... '
this is done by veron... nice nice.. shld go and learn how to do it if i'm free... bt seems so hard... i have tones of things to do... sch work, sch project, sch test, sch exam, attending lesson, go out with friends, gg to work, accompany parents, rest at home, go clubbing, attending bday... wow... hw do i have time?? not even anytime for a bf.. or to think of a guy/bf... haha.. busy busy me...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008 ' 1:09 PM Y
tired.. '
i'm so tired in getting to know new ppl.. getting to meet new ppl.. reali very tired... jus wanna find someone whom i can rely on... i'm jus feeling so tired.. tired in things... tired in ppl... tired in hw things are gg... haix.. life sux...
Monday, September 22, 2008 ' 2:20 PM Y
hmm... '
this is wad veron says when i told her abt me n G...
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
gt 2 way of thinking: 1) his "wound" is still raw from stopping himself from falling for you, so he's avoiding you
2) he already getting himself ready to go back into the field again, so he dun wan any entanglements, so he's avoiding you
is it real?... i will slowly go think of wad i actually wan from him ba...
Sunday, September 21, 2008 ' 6:37 AM Y
wad's wrong '
it's veron bday celebration. haha.. went to her chalet... miss those times... there should be more ppl de.. bt a lot last min cannot come le...
dunno y this picture seems so outcasting... but guess ppl will get to see the point in it ba... hahawent to club again... i feel dat G doesn't dare to look at me.. or to say is doesnt wan to look at me... is he reali serious abt it?... throughout the whole session he didnt look up at me... when kelly n i dancing at the stage, he was somewhere near... n he didnt seems to dare to look up at me... he gt look at kelly bt nt me... later on.. was still dancing at the stage, and G was at the dance floor beside us.. he accidentally hit my leg and he don dare to look up to say sorry.. wad's wrong with him?... i knw he gt look up jus for a while.. a very quick glance.. n he don seems to be interested in dancing with girls... when A pull him together.. den he give the look dat he's nt interested... after club... we went to Mac... he was there as well... usually will stay together den go off.. bt today.. he only tel A that he's gg and didnt tel J abt it.. is he reali avoiding me?.. m i the reason for it?... is it cos of M and his bro last weeek?.. if it is.. den he is serious on me?... do i reali hurt him?.. i always have the mindset dat he is nt serious.. bt.. this time round m i wrong??... i don wan to b the reason the strain their friendship or wad de... haix... bt last wk... he stil gt turn n look at me.. when i'm dancing with M he stil gt look at me.. bt why nt this wk?... is he reali bothered abt it?... wad do i reali wan frm him.. do i reali like him..?.. i don wan him to avoid me.. i don wan to lose a friend...
Friday, September 19, 2008 ' 1:24 AM Y
poor thing '
omg... kaili n her bf is facing the same prob as me n R... out of a sudden wanted to stop and think... she is reali devastated.. bt i understand hw her bf feels... cos i feel dat as well... for me it's like reali sick n tired of the way R treat me... just nice G pop up which makes me think of the problem and makes me decided to end... if R reali turn back to me.. makes me the most impt one in his life.. wil i still go back?... probably ba.. if i didnt manage to find anyone.. bt i think better nt le.. i took 3yrs to come out.. if go back mayb i wil nd another 3yrs le ba..? haha..
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 ' 2:45 PM Y
is this true? '
this is wad veron told me in msn... and is wad louis told her...
wad he says is quite true i think...
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
aniwae... yesterday louis told me something
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
he said, u want to let gerald go, because u want to "hurt" him b4 u get hurt...
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
when in fact u are already hurt no matter how slightly
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
and tt for raymond's case... u do regret letting him go a little, but u wun admit it, u'd wan him to chase u back...
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
but for raymond... he oso wans u back
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
but by his side got a "sun you" keep on telling him not to.... saying tt he's a guy, he should wait for u to go back
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
on ur own...
camomile tea... show me some love... lol says:
dunno how true it is...
well... i also dunno how true is it le.. bt i think it's stil rather true le...
again... '
tot that i've changed... bt it seems like i'm stil the same... went to meet K and history just repeat itself... cant help bt to ctn.. knowing it's wrong.. bt.. yet.. i stil go on... telling him dat i wanna change.. bt yet.. i stil ctn... wad on earth m i thinking n doing.. y am i still lidat?... basically i have no feeling at all... it's seems like numb to me.. y will this happen?.. R jus make me lose myself... it's nt worth to b lidat due to him.. bt i just cant help it..
sad.. feel so worthless.. unwanted.. loose.. hell..
new me... '
it will be a brand new me ba... hope things will turn out smoothly n nicely.. later gg to meet K feeling kinda worried.. worry bout the outcome.. wad wil he think when he see me?.. the way i walk.. nw he say till so nice.. everything seems to be so beautiful... bt wad bout after dat?.. will it stil be as beatiful as nw?.. after my wake up call last sun.. i suddenly feel dat i've lost my confident... no more self-esteem... everything seems to just blocking my way.. so afraid of getting critize nw... help... which me is the best and the right one?... where m i? who m i? wad m i?... me this wk and me last wk is a diff person.. diff thinking.. the change is so drastic... making me don even knw wad is gg on... scary...
Monday, September 15, 2008 ' 12:36 PM Y
sorting out my tots... '
was thinking n thinking.. everyone knw i did wrongly and had changed... change to someone they don know at all.. n they say it's gd dat i m able to wake up at this time... bt will i go back to wad i'm doing again?... so afraid dat i will le.. mayb it's reali like wad K say ba.. i reali need someone to lead me on n guide me... i'm stil in my world n surrounded by hurt n fear... cant be able to walk out of it.. someone nd to be there to lead me out n guide me to the right way..
Sunday, September 14, 2008 ' 11:26 PM Y
emo... '
feeling so emo nw... was thinking of wad i've done for the past few weeks... esp last wk... dunno y suddenly feel like that.. y m i torturing myself... y m i imposting hurt to myself?... yst experience was kinda fun.. bt is dat reali wad i wan?... is dat reali wad i gg for?... i told B abt it.. i dunno hw will he think.. bt i reali cant take it le.. feeling better after talking to B and K at the same time... think i shld put down G le... i don think this kind of r/s is gg to anywhere... we both understand dat it is jus a fling.. continuing will hurt myself n to make ppl think dat i m cheap le.. so.. y mus i let ppl think abt it?.. bt i stil scared that after this.. i will stil continue wad i'm doing.. i'm stil afraid to hurt others.. esp those who r good to me.. haix...
gosh '
gosh...! wth m i doing?... went to st james jus nw... i gt msg G is he gg.. bt he didnt reply me... so i didnt bother to ask again le... so my plan stil ctn... went in at ard 11.. drink den dance... i knw i will see them.. bt didnt expect to join them... M came up to me and hug me.. dance etc... den went to join G n friends... i dance with other guys in front of him.. and almost kiss with M's bro... omg... hope G didnt see it.. bt i doubt so.. he is just in front...
basically he didnt dance with other girls... i'm so surprise.. he's with his guy friends... i dunno wad he will think le... he look at me when i dance with M den i gave him the face.. den he smile a bit... bt dunno he saw it mah... wad will he think sia... i'm nt reali dat kind lorx... bt anyway.. G is jus a fling...
Friday, September 12, 2008 ' 10:25 AM Y
a penny of tots... '
went to meet G yst... went to punngol end... ya.. everything is under control... bt a lot of mosquitoes... haha... damn it... he msg me yst when they come back frm outfield... den his msg tone is a bit diff le... he used to only msg me hw are u? smthing lidat.. den yst he msg me 'hw u gal?' den jiu ctn to talk le lo... when go out gt hold hands n all lorx... as usual larx.. den also gt help me to wear helmet lo.. can say he is more passionate den R haha... bt wad do i reali wan? actually i still nt v sure of my status... when i ask him 'y shld i help u lehx?' den his reply is 'i like u to help me mahx..' er... wth... gt attemp to try larx.. bt gt ppl walk past.. den also the place v hard to.. so in the end didnt le.. stil lucky.. haha.. when he send me back.. gt hold hands lorx.. den he send me up... in the lift he put his hand on my waist larx.. so i jus lie on him.. den i move up again.. bt he adjust himself for me to lie on his chest again.. den jiu lie on him lo.. when reach my hse there.. ya.. as usual larx.. he will kiss me and den say goodbye lorx.. so i also nt v sure le...
Thursday, September 11, 2008 ' 12:05 PM Y
... '
it's thursday le.. they coming back frm outfield.. haha... dunno will he msg me mahx.. or shld i go take the move again... think after so long he is the only guy dat i will reali so interested in after 'egg tart' hah... ya.. but i dunno wad he thinks... m i only treated as a fling for him?... so scat that i will reali get hurt...
well.. i think G has a lot of personal problem... as in the feeling i gt dat kind of feeling frm him larx.. den i also feel dat he is those kind of 'xiao nan ren' de... i dunno if it's real or nt lax.. bt jiu gt this feeling lorx... looking forward to meet him again... hope he will come find me.. n ya.. think wad i m thinking... haix... nw everyone like attached le... den.. ya i'm alone...haix.. ya.. i meeting G later...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 ' 12:09 PM Y
same old disappointment '
it's the same old disappointment again from R... i told him i prefer him to come to send me hm instead of gg to sch de.. den i msg him at 8 saying dat my lesson wil end early... bt ya.. he didnt reply.. after my lesson i call him again... bt he didnt pick up the phone... den after my grp discussion.. i called him again... bt he also didnt pick up the phone... wtf... everytime lidat.. i already give him the chance.. bt he just didnt bother abt it... den forget it ba.. i reali give up le... today is WED!!! tml he coming back frm outfield... dunno will he contact me mahx... or he nds me to contact him first... when i tel G the reason to end with R he was quite shock also as in to meet once a mth or so... den didnt reali contact... den gt prob i also wont tel him de... think everyone also will be shock of it ba... hope he will come contact me.. he is so interesting as in there are a lot of things to find out from him de.. think i reali lose this time le.. haix...
Monday, September 8, 2008 ' 5:10 PM Y
hmm... '
wad is he thinking lorx...? wad he reali wan and think of dat incident.. do i look wild? i also dunno worx...
well.. R came back to look for me... at the right time when G is nt ard... say he wan to send me to sch den home..
bt also dunno he will reali come mahx... den he wan to meet me is for the needs or is reali miss me or wad?..
if dat is the case den wad abt G...? also the needs?... sick of thinking le..
Sunday, September 7, 2008 ' 6:59 PM Y
at such a gd time sia.. '
he is so smart in choosing the time to msg me... think is another R le ba.. haha.. well.. on thursday during the wake, G msg me 'hey.. hw r u? long time nv hear frm u liao..' which is like.. wa... out of a sudden.. dat time is dunno who nv msg me de lorx.. ya.. den was sms-ing him.. and he say wan to meet me.. saying dat long time didnt see me le.. den he also bring up the topic of coming to my hse again... ya.. bt end of the day.. stil gt go out with him.. we went to ECP and sat there to talk... den we saw shooting stars!!! wow.. it's so nice.. and shock me.. cos i dunno hw to react and forget to make my wish... den.. we did ctn... ya.. shld nt say too much of the detail.. later ppl wil say mushy.. haha.. bt nw was thinking.. is he playing or he takes me as his gf le... yst they went clubbing.. and to my suprise.. he didnt fish anyone and stick with the grp to dance.. even though there is a new girl.. he also like didnt bother... this is so nt like him... to my surprise... he did notice me on the first day... den he was asking y i didnt dance with M on the 2nd day... this is like wa.. a random qn... wad he wanna know?.. funny worx.. dunno wad i m to him nw le... hw?.. hw to ask?..
Thursday, September 4, 2008 ' 12:18 AM Y
RIP... I will Miss U '
i'm so super sad... jus get to knw that my great grandma passed away like 2hr ago... it's so sudden... i find it hard to accept it... i jus wan to break dwn to cry... i cant take it anymore le... i feel so bad.. it's been mths since i last went dwn to visit her.. nw she is gone.. hw am i gg to visit her?... i did nt even manage to see her the last time n she is gone... she is the one who look after of me when i'm young.. she is the one to cook for me... she is the one who teach me what is right n wad is wrong... she is the one i look up to... bt... haix.. think this may be a good thing for her le ba... at least she is free frm the suffering... she can go to heaven and relax and enjoy.. she can even look for my grandpa, grandma, and grandaunt... he son, daughter-in-law and daughter... think it positively.. it is a good thing... we will miss her... but do not wan her to suffer... although loosing u is a pain... but releasing u from suffers.. is a good deed... Rest In Peace...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008 ' 3:32 PM Y
stuck in between... Stress + Sad '
why can friends become like that? one like undergo depression... another one like becoming rebellious...
it's like one is sad and thinking of a lot of negative things... while the other is like change due to the situation and is unhappy of others... i'm like so stuck in between both of them.. they are so good friend since sec sch... bt nw... haix.. also dunno how to say le... feeling so depress n sad of it... how can i please both sides??
it's so hard to please everyone...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008 ' 10:41 AM Y
start to worry le.. '
was thinking that after he saw me dat day he will be like wad louis say.. to avoid etc... but he didnt...
wandering if this is a good thing or is it only a slow moving away... was asking him wad is his cup of tea... and his reply is 'me? haha. classified. UHaha.' which is like wad a reply... den when i ask him classified meaning?? he said nevermind... which is like.. the... wad u mean?... i'm afraid that i will reali fall for him... this is the only thing dat make me worry... i am afraid that end of the day i will be hurt and sad... but.. i hope not..
so dont expect for too much.. dont hold too much hope... he is jus a companion...
classified = confidential
Monday, September 1, 2008 ' 11:55 AM Y
funny.. scat... '
went to meet K yst.. den went to meet veron at mediacorp jus to see Y... haha.. it's so stupid lorx.. i rush dwn in cab just to see hw Y looks like.. after dat we went to veron hse to see baby n eat dinner... it's like kinda bad lehx.. cos by right shld meet K to shop ard n eat de.. bt end up bring him to veron place..
louis pt of view is like... R is better den K... Which is like... omg... i dunno wad to say... den he was also saying dat when K leaves it is usually silently... which is like.. argh...
i'm thinking wad he thinks of the way i walk... he's not online till nw.. is he avoiding me??... kinda worry of wad louis say is true.. but mayb he is busy...? i also nt sure worx... just only gt to know him like a week... bt when he told me which sec sch he frm i'm kinda turn off le.. haha.. cos of bad memories... sianx.. will update more tml.. if he is reali avoiding...
